


My Dirty Blonde Boy

by oakleyfrick



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), dnf - Fandom, dreamnotfound - Fandom, mcyt
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Based off a song, Conflict, Cottagecore, Cute, Dark, Family Drama, Friends to Lovers, Gay, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love Triangle, M/M, Minecraft, Slow Build, Suicide, cottagecore love, dreamwastaken - Freeform, georgenotfound - Freeform, mcyt - Freeform, mlm, strawberry blond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:40:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 22,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleyfrick/pseuds/oakleyfrick
Summary: George and Clay were inseparable, ever since they were young. George had always admired Clay, though he wasn't very sure why. It was a stronger feeling than just thinking that Clay is a good friend, much stronger than that. Whether it was he wanted to be him or he wanted to be him, he didn't know. All he knew is he couldn't get enough of Clay. Though, sometimes people get in the way, and it was up to George to decide what he was going to do about it.sort of based off Strawberry Blonde by Mitski
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Dnf - Relationship
Comments: 40
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

George wound his tinted windows down in his car to get a proper picture of the beautiful countryside surroundings. He let himself breathe in the crisp air that whipped past him, swiftly pulling his dark brown locks back from his face. He turned his music up in attempt to block out the howling wind. For a city boy, George was more than excited to be spending time with his best friend in the countryside. He grinned widely just at the thought of it, and started to sing along to the music blaring from his car speakers.

He had been driving for about 5 hours now, and was only just around half way there, but he didn't mind one bit about the time. It flew past quickly, anyway. For the first time since he was a child, he was finally able to enjoy the sound of nature and the mesmerising open planes. He felt as if he could scream at the top of his lungs and run through the tall grass without a single care in the world, a proper feeling of freedom. He wasn't sure what he'd expect from his trip, but he was ready to face everything.

George felt as if it was so surreal to be seeing Clay for the first time in years. Though they would call for hours almost every night since their last physical interaction, they never felt truly complete. Plus, Clay's shitty country reception was no help. George felt that Clay was like a main character. He had the perfect life, living in a cozy cottage with the company of friendly animals, and of course, his cat Patches. Clay wouldn't have a problem in the world, he had endless possibilities and nobody was going to tell him what to do and what not to do. All George ever wanted was a life in the shape of Dreams, it seemed so comforting. George always felt so happy and safe when he was around Clay. The city life commonly left George feeling stressed and overwhelmed, and when it got to him, Clay was the first person he'd turn to. His soft voice made George happy. Clay would give George a platonic "I love you, Gogy." and it made Georges heart feel warm. Though, George didn't often say it back, Clay knew that George loved him too, but for some reason George could never bring himself to say it. Perhaps because if he said it, he would overthink it and perceive it as more than platonic. Whenever George had that thought, he would brush it off and think no more of it. George was sensitive, he overthought things a lot. He was scared to say things sometimes. Clay had that general kind nature, and George had no intention of fucking their friendship up. George wiped the thought out of his head, and sped up. His phone goes off and the music falls quiet temporarily, a messages from Clay. "Give me a text when you're here, I'll be down doing some work. Still can't believe I get to see you again!" it reads. George snorts, his feelings are mutual to Clays. Without responding, he throws his phone to the passenger seat and turns the music back up. "This will be the best week of my life." he laughs to himself out loud, and he continues to sing out loud as he drives past the green fields and farm animals.

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George was less than 10 minutes away from Clays cottage. When every minute passed, his heart would pace faster out of pure excitement. He glanced at the scenery around him, and it made him feel warm. the sun was shining, wild birds were playing in the sky, the trees were a vibrant green, and flowers had started to bloom the most beautiful colours. Occasionally, George could hear the sound of cows and sheep communicating. It made him wonder what they were possibly talking about. Maybe they were best friends, maybe they felt the same bond as him and Clay. Perhaps they hated each other. He scoffed at his own thought, wondering why he was even thinking about it. He distracted himself by a song that has just started. "Strawberry Blonde", his phone read. It was a new song he hadn't yet heard, though it was already catching onto him, as he noticed he was tapping his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. He listened closely to the lyrics.

I don't need the city, and I don't need proof. All I need, darling is a life in your shape. I picture it, soft, and I ache. 

Those lyrics repeated in Georges mind as the song continued. It made him think of Clay and his perfect life, as he thought. How much he wanted to be Clay, or at least be with him. As friends, of course. Right? He shook his head and began to slow his car as he reached Clays cottage. His heart was racing in his chest, this was really happening.

He stared at the old house, it was picture perfect. It was a simple, creamy white, two storey house, but it looked very cozy. The creamy stone walls were cracked and were slightly covered in moss and vines. Bushes and pot plants surrounded the house, leaving the entryway open. a small stone path led up to the doorway. Hollyhocks danced in the slight breeze, their yellow, red and white colours thriving in the sunlight. The mossy tiles on the roof were a grey brown colour, and a small chimney popped out of the side of the roof. A lantern hung over the old wooden door, and the wonky windows looked as if they had a tint of yellow. The sun was blaring against the side of the house, giving Georges surroundings a golden sun kissed look. After taking in his surroundings, he turned his car off, and the song stopped playing. His car fell quiet, and the sounds of the nature around him came to life.

Shit, I forgot to text him. George thought, remembering Clays message. He got out of his car and pulled his phone out. Before he could open his messages, he perked his head up at a loud yell.

"George!" a familiar voice yelled. George looked toward an open paddock where the voice came from, and locked eyes with his best friend, who started to run towards him. His eyes widened, and he let out a happy laugh, his chest feeling warm. Memories flooded his head, good ones. The tall blonde boy he always remembered was right in front of him. All of a sudden, George was tackled into a hug by the laughing blonde, and George immediately hugged him back. They twirled around in each others arms, trying not to trip over. George leaned into Clay and listened to his quick and excited heartbeat, and it made George smile.

"I missed you so much, dude! I can't believe you're here!" Clay yelped. George could barely respond, he just agreed and continued to laugh. He missed Clays hugs so much, they were always warm and comforting. After another 30 seconds of pure laugher, huge and happiness, the two calmed down and let go. George looked at Clay, and took in his features lit up by the golden sun. His emerald green eyes were lit up, practically shining. Few freckles lay on his cheeks and nose, just how George remembered. His warm ivory skin was complimented by his bright and big smile. His dirty blonde hair was wavy and scruffy, the lighting made it a beautiful shiny gold. He was wearing a sage green button up shirt underneath a pair of dirty denim overalls, hay and carrots were sticking out of his pockets, some in his hair too. His brown boots were scuffed and chunky, typical workers boots.

Something about this situation made George feel different than usual. Of course, he was more than happy to see his best friend for the first time in what felt like forever, but actually looking at Clay made George feel something he's never felt before. He couldn't take his eyes off Clay, he looked too perfect. He wanted to hug him again, to be held by him again, and he never wanted to be let go. He wanted to play with his hair, he wanted to stare at him forever. He didn't know why he felt this, it felt wrong, yet so right. George snapped out of it as Clay spoke.

"How have you been! I wanna hear all about whats happened since I last saw you!" Clay grinned, doing tiny quick jumps of happiness. George giggled at Clay, he hasn't changed a bit, and he probably will never change.

"Oh boy, you've missed a lot. But I'm glad I'm here now." George laughed, and he wasn't lying. He wanted to keep all the important stories for when this moment came, for when he could finally see Clay in person. 

"Okay, you're telling me everything, whether you like it or not. Besides, I have a bunch to show you." Clay responded, a spring in his voice. It was like they were both kids again, always sharing experiences and having fun doing them. Together.

Clay led George inside with his suitcase whilst they continued to talk to each other about their friends, all the things Clay had missed. The door was like an old stable door; two parts, and you could open the top half of it as if it were another window. The cottage interior was lovely and warm. The old floorboards were dark and thick, and the walls were a nice cream colour. The first room they walked into was the kitchen, the sun coming through the windows lit up the room nicely. The counters were a polished oak wood, decorated neatly with kitchen appliances and plants. Shelves were nailed into the wall that held pastel ceramic plates and tea cups. George didn't really expect Clays place to look so... comfortable. Peaceful. It was nice, though. The dining table was next to the windows, it was surprisingly big for someone who lived alone, but cutely decorated. A beige cloth lay upon the table, and some lovely white flowers from his garden sat in a glass vase in the centre of the table. George thought that perhaps Clay usually had guests over, hence the table being of size.

George glanced over to the window, and noticed Patches lying on the windowsill, bathing in the bit of sunlight left for the day. He smiled and walked over to her, continuing to talk to Clay. Patches perked her head up in alarm, noticing George, and sat up in curiosity. George pet patches slowly, thinking she was much smaller than he pictured her. After a short while, George sat back up and turned to Clay, who had been watching George play with Patches. They both smiled as George walked up to Clay. They sat down at the dining table and continued their long lasting conversation until the sun was gone.

Later, their childish bickering had dimmed, and George was lead to the small spare room next to Clays. A simple double bed and closet, it was enough. George slumped his suitcase at the foot of his bed, and sat down next to it. He pulled out his phone and when into his photo album of him and his friends. He saw the photos of when him, Clay and Nick were last together. They all looked so happy, without a care in the world. Clay was standing between George and Nick, hugging the both of them happily. George looked at Nick in the photo. It had been just under 2 months since Nick died. He left them. He wasn't one to really talk about his feelings, and, obviously, it wasn't a good thing. George could vividly remember the phone call he had to make to Clay, it was one of the worst days of his life. He was frustrated and exhausted for days after Nick died. Why did he do it? Why couldn't he just stay a little longer? George snapped back into reality, he noticed his hands were slightly shaking and his eyesight was foggy from tears. He threw his phone to the other side of his bed and wiped his tears with his sleeve. 

"You all good?" Clay was standing at the doorway to Georges bedroom, and George looked up in slight shock, and nodded.

"Alright, get some sleep, tomorrow is a big day." Clay smiled, and excitement filled George. It's gonna be like they were kids again, and they both missed that feeling. The boys said their goodnights, and George sat in bed, thoughts running through his head about everything; Nick, Clay, himself, Clay. Clay... How he thought about him, why he thought like this. All of a sudden, they're adults with their own lives, and it feels so much different. Especially with Clay, and he can't stop thinking about him. He felt like he wanted to say so much to him, but he never would. He wanted to tell him how safe he made him feel, how he wants to spend forever with him. George let out a sigh, and the house went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George has a realisation after a fun morning out with Clay.

George blinked his eyes open slowly, the warm sun greeting him through the window. His body still slightly weak from a deep sleep, he grabs his phone next to his pillow and reads the time. 6:45 AM. He never wakes up this early, but the natural alarm clock was peaceful for a change. The faint sound of birds chirping outside was blocked out by the sizzling of what George would imagine to be bacon, according to the toasty meaty smell. He squinted his eyes at the rising sun, and turned over to face the door. Slowly but surely, he made his way into the kitchen where he saw Clay working on some bacon. The contrast between the two was humorously different. Clay stood with his strong posture, dressed, and focused on the food, and George silently watched, still trying to properly open his eyes. His body felt stiff and weak, and he tried to knock it out of himself with a stretch. Clay noticed his friend moving in his peripheral vision, and he looked up at him.

"Morning, Gogy" Clay giggled, amused by Georges tired state. George smiled at the old nickname and managed to spurt out a "Morning".

"I remembered you like bacon, so I bought some from the markets yesterday" Clay chirped, serving it on a plate with some toast and eggs. George grinned, it made him feel loved. Remembered. Home life had left him struggling a lot, not many people were around to support him. But Clay was always there for him, his company alone made him feel special. That's what he liked about Clay, there was never a dull moment with him.

The boys sat down at the dining table and discussed what they wanted to do that day.

"So, George... Have you ever ridden a horse before?" Clay asked ,and George responded with a laugh.

"Never in my life, I've probably laid eyes on a horse about once" George giggled, slightly embarrassed. Though, Clays eyes lit up with excitement.

"Oh my god, you have to meet my horses! It looks scary, but I promise it's so fun!" Clay was practically off his seat, his bright eyes wide open. George was admiring him, seeing Clay happy made him feel so warm, it's all he ever wants to see. Clay went on about his horses, their personalities, and practically everything about them. George let him talk, though he was barely listening, he had zoned out a bit. All George was focused on was looking at Clay. He took his time to focus on every detail about the dirty blonde boy; his soft hair, glistening green eyes, how he still smiled brightly even though words were spilling out his mouth. George wouldn't let himself look away from him. Clay made him feel so different, almost as if George was in a dream.

"So how 'bout it?" Clay ended, and George snapped back into reality. Panic quickly filled him, he was barely listening the whole time, but he nodded yes anyway. Clay clapped his hands in excitement, and George smiled so much his cheeks hurt. After another minute or so of chatting, they cleaned up and headed outside.

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The sun was still rising, but it was light enough to cover the land with a lovely gold light. George looked over to see two large horses in a small paddock, grazing on the green grass. They walked closer to the paddock to get a better look at the horses. When they reached the fence, the horses perked their heads up, and trotted over to the fence, looking for attention.

"This one is Spirit" Clay mentioned, patting a large white horse. Her fur shone in the morning light, she was obviously well taken care of. Her large brown eyes were set on Clay, as he continued to scratch her chin. She shook her tail in satisfaction, and snorted at Clay. He laughed, and pointed to the second slightly smaller brown horse.

"And her name is Amber" George looked over at the horse Clay was talking about. George stepped over to the smaller horse, and she poked her head out towards him. George giggled, and scratched the top of her head, unsure of where to really pet her. So far he was doing everything right, since he hadn't had his fingers bitten off.

"She's an Arabian Derivative, about 15 hands, last time I checked. Spirit is just a simple Thoroughbred, though she might have some Arabian in her, I've never properly known. But she's big, I know that much. Just over 17 hands." Clay said. George turned his head towards Clay with a puzzled look on his face.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about" Clay laughed in response, though he wasn't surprised one bit.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Let's just grab the tack" Clay said. George was still confused, he wasn't very used to all this 'country' lingo just yet, but he was happy that Clay was happy. George followed the blonde boy to a small, dark shed next to the house.

Inside was filled with tools, saddles, horse equipment, hay, feed and similar supplies. Two saddles sat on stools, a dark brown shiny leather material. They were in good condition, the stirrups were new and shiny.

"Okay, I know that's called a saddle, that's about it" George pointed out, and Clay wheezed in response.

"Good enough, I guess. Okay, do you know what this is?" Clay grabbed a bridle that was hanging on a nail that was coming out of the wall. He looked at George, reading his face. He was obviously confused, giving himself time to find an answer.

"Head thing, it goes on the head right?" George said with little confidence. Clay nodded, smiling.

"Face controller!" George yelped. Clay let out another wheeze, bending over trying to catch his breath.

"You're so stupid, George" Clay laughed. George jokingly groaned in response.

"Sorry I'm not some weird country boy like you, Clay!" Clay rolled his eyes and continued to laugh.

"Oh my god, that's why I love you" Clay said happily. George held his breath at his words. He felt his heart skip. Don't say that, he thought to himself. At this point he was just confusing himself, so he awkwardly laughed back at Clays remark. There was a short moment of silence between the two. Though, it was like they were communicating to one another, just without words. They looked into each others eyes, and held their breaths. Why were they both so awkward? They're just friends, it was just a platonic sentence, what more? Clay was the first to break the loud silence.

"It's called a bridle, I guess you were right when you said 'face controller' cause that's sort of what it is. You control the horse with it, and it goes on their face, so I give you a slight congratulations" George rolled his eyes and nodded. Clay continued to explain the tack before they grabbed everything and walked back to the two mares in the paddock.

Clay threw the tack on Spirit like he had done it a million times, and in all honesty, he probably has. George watched, taking a mental note. He watched the swift movement of Clay sliding the bridle on Spirit with ease. He continued to watch Clay petting Spirit and talking to her in pet voice. George smiled at his voice, cute and smooth. Clay looked back at George, who was in his own world, still looking at the blonde. Clay smiled and caught his attention. George blinked in a blind panic and smiled awkwardly.

"Okay, saddle pad first, then saddle, then bridle. Think you can do it?" Clay asked. George agreed with confidence, even though he knew he had no idea what he was doing. He turned to Amber, and threw the black scruffy saddle pad on. He continued to put the saddle on.

"... This doesn't look right" George thought out loud, holding onto the saddle that was placed on his horses back. Clay cackled and walked up to Amber.

"That's because it's on backwards" He was barely able to say through a laugh. He placed his hands on top of Georges that were still holding onto the saddle. Clay felt the brunettes hands flinch at the touch. George felt his face heat up, and his heartbeat quicken. What the fuck is going on? He thought to himself. There was another short moment of silence, the two boys glancing at each other from time to time.

"I-I don't know, dude" George spurted out, his voice cracking. Clay let out a giggle, and picked up the saddle, and turned it the correct way.

"Oh" George silently said, and Clay continued to laugh. George smiled, looking at Clay with confused eyes. What just happened? The two of them simultaneously thought.

"Okay, watch how I get on, and copy that" Clay said, putting his foot in one of the stirrups and throwing himself over onto Spirit. It was such a smooth and swift action, he made it look easy. George shrugged, and shoved his foot in the stirrup. He flung himself over uneasily onto his horse. His action certainly wasn't as smooth as Clays, but at least he managed to get on in the first place.

"Okay, steering is easy, just pull the reins to whatever side you want them to go, and pull them when you wanna stop, it's easy" Clay demonstrated so George would have a better understanding. Clay kicked Spirit on, and she broke into a trot, and shortly enough, a canter. His scruffy hair blew wildly in the wind, a bright smile appearing on his face. He circled George, quickly falling dizzy. George tried to keep his eyes on the beautiful white horse, and laughed. Clay looked so happy, so excited that he could share his adventurous life with his best friend. George thought it was a beautiful sight, and he smiled. Clay slowed down to a walk and caught his breath.

"That was a bad idea, I'm fucking dizzy" He laughed, and so did George. Clay gave him the nod to try it himself, and George sat firmly in the saddle, held tight to the reins, and kicked his horse on. Amber went off like a rocket, but George held on. Surely enough, he wasn't doing so terribly, he could find himself quite easily getting the hang of it. Clay gasped slightly, surprised by his friends quick abilities. But that doesn't mean that George wasn't shit terrified. Of course he was, but at the same time, it was the most fun he had ever felt. Clay laughed, and broke into a canter to catch up to George and his new horse friend.

They both yelled in excitement and rode down the field, racing one another. Of course, Clay was winning, George had fallen behind, scared to break into a gallop. Clay slowed down a little bit so George wouldn't have to be by himself, and to make him feel safer. George was feeling something he hadn't felt in such a long time. Pure happiness and freedom. Not just the small bit of happiness you get when your friend tells a joke, or you see a cute dog, this was absolute happiness, so much he wanted to cry. He never wanted to let go of this moment, riding in the wind with his favourite person in the world.

The two of them slowed their horses when they came to the top of a hill where a lonely old tree stood. The four of them were panting, their adrenaline was wild. The boys let go of the reins, and their horses heads flopped down. Clay and George looked at each other, breathing heavily whilst laughing, which wasn't helping them calm down, but they couldn't help it. They bent over and leaned against their horses necks, feeling weak.

"Holy shit" George managed to yell out, making the two of them burst into more laughter.

"Fun, aye?" Clay said.

"Fuck yeah that was! Oh my god!" George immediately responded. He tried catching his breath, but he couldn't help but continue to laugh.

Clay hopped off spirit and took off her bridle to she could comfortably chew on some of the green grass that hadn't been touched. George followed Clays silent orders. The boys flopped down next to each other and leaned against the thick tree. They stayed silent for a moment, the only noise being the singing birds, the ripping of grass, and the boys trying to steady their breathing. George looked over at Clay, who was still smiling so much he could barely keep his eyes open.

In that moment, George forgot everything else. He forgot about everything that was worrying him. He forgot about his home, his family, Nick, everything bothering him. All he was thinking of was Clay. The golden boy sitting right next to him. It was like the entire world was blocked out, and it was just him and Clay. He felt like he was dreaming, like this was too good to be true, Clay was too good to be true. He felt so lucky to be here with him. Out of everyone in the world, Clay was right next to him, he was his favourite person in the world. Everything about him was so painfully perfect. George began to think about who Clay was to him. In this moment, Clay felt like a little more than a friend. His mind was silent for a moment, too. Until a loud thought entered his head.

My god, I'm in love...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i thought that this chapter was going to be shorter than last one, but its longer lol. i didnt get into as much as i thought i would, but i promise next chapter is gonna be biiiiiiiig ! theres lots in store for the next few chapters, you're in for a ride lolll  
> hope u enjoyed :]


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys talk about Nick, and have a deep conversation.

My god, I'm in love...

Georges heart began to race at the thought. This is his best friend he was thinking about, so why was he thinking such a bold thought? Was he even sure of that? His mind began to fog up, but everything in his head quickly fell silent as Clay broke the silence.

"You alright?" Clay asked. George suddenly realised he had been staring at Clay for the past minute. He shook his head and gulped.

"Yeah, yeah. Looking at your ugly face" He joked. Clay giggled and looked down, still smiling. Both the boys cheeks were sore from the uncontrollable smiling and laughter, like they were clowns. Georges heart was in no way slowing, the more he looked at Clay. The blonde was just happy he could be with his friend, he barely noticed Georges odd behaviour. They stayed silent for a few more minutes till they were both calm. Clay payed attention to Georges breathing, and waited till they were both comfortable enough to talk. Clays smile faded away as he looked down to the ground. They both know that one way or another they would have to bring up the topic they really didn't want to talk about. The aura alone lowered the mood. Clay was the first to speak, his voice slightly raspy.

"So, um... Have you heard from Nicks parents since..." Clay began to speak, but he was interrupted by George, who clearly hated talking about this.

"Not really." He said firmly. It seemed like he was angry. Not because he didn't want to talk about it, but because he was still angry at Nick. George certainly wasn't as mature as Clay, sometimes he had trouble accepting things, especially if he had to accept things alone. Though, now that he was with Clay, he felt as if he could say whatever he wanted. There was another moment of unnerving silence. The air was thin, and the tension was rising. Neither of them wanted to talk, but they didn't really have a choice at this point.

"I found an old photo of the three of us." George finally spoke. Clay lifted his head to look at George, noticing the brunettes eyes start to swell. Clays heart felt heavy, his throat was clogged and he could barely swallow his pain he felt for both himself and his friend. George spoke again.

"When we were at the amusement park down in California. Remember that?" George asked, not looking up from the ground, afraid that Clay would see his terrible state. Clay let out a quiet "mmm" in response.

Memories flooded Georges mind, and although they were good ones, they did not make him feel much better. The memories were loud, he could practically hear Nicks loud and sweet laugh. What happened to that boy? The boy that lit up a room as soon as he entered, the boy who was there for Clay and George through thick and thin, what happened to him? Why did he have to leave?

"Clay, I-I don't understand..." Georges voice was shaky and weak. With every word from George, Clays heart shattered a little more. Clay narrowed his eyebrows and stared at the ground below him. It wasn't long until his vision became foggy.

George brung his knees up to his chest, and his breath began to shake. More silence filled the cold, sour air.

"... I don't either, George" Clay whimpered. Nick was never one to speak about his feelings. He was always there for his two best friends, he was more of a listener than a talker. Sometimes the boys felt like it was their fault. They felt as if they were being selfish, always talking about themselves. Of course, it was not their fault, but that didn't stop them from thinking that.

The same thought wound around Georges head. Was it my fault? Fuck, it was my fault, wasn't it?

The thought made Georges heart pound in his chest, it was physically painful. Both the boys wanted to say so much, yet nothing at the same time. George moved his legs so he was sitting cross legged and facing Clay. Tears were quickly filling his eyes and started to slowly drop down his red cheeks.

"I'm... I'm just angry, Clay. I'm angry and sad and confused a-and exhausted and I knows it's my fault and I don't- I don't-" The poor brunette couldn't finish his sentence. Clay understood, he knew George well enough to know he was in need for someone to be there for him. He knew that he was fragile. Clay felt awful, all he wanted to do was take the pain away from George, because he didn't deserve to have to bare all this weight. Clay stood up, his legs shaky, and he held out his hand to his crying friend. George looked up at Clays hands, and slowly grabbed them. Clay pulled the boy up and embraced him into a warm and comforting hug. At first it gave George a little shock, it felt like such a meaningful hug, not just a shitty little hug, a proper one. A hug that says "I love you, you're going to be okay". George let out a deep breath, and tears continued to fall from his face.

"I know, Gogy. I know. I know you're angry, I understand the pain you're feeling. But I really want you to know that it is in no way, shape or form your fault-" Clay was cut off.

"Clay, you don't understand! I stupidly believed him! He said he was going to be okay, that I didn't need to worry! And I fucking believed him! I put my phone away and went to fucking sleep, convinced he was fine! But he wasn't! If I wasn't so fucking dumb, he would still be here! We wouldn't be having this goddamn conversation! I did this!" George yelled, loud and obvious pain in his voice. He couldn't say another word, his voice was broken and blocked out by gasps and tears. Clay didn't say anything, it's not like he knew what to say. He knew that George was wrong, but he still had no clue how to respond. He hugged George tighter, letting him sob. Clay could feel Georges chest rapidly rise and fall between sobs, and it broke him. Clays eyes were sore and tired, and as he closed his eyes, tears leaked out.

"I hate this... I hate this so much, Clay..." George whispered. He attempted to quiet his cries and focus on his breathing. He just wanted to think about Clay, how he was in his arms, how he wanted to stay there forever. He felt so safe in the blondes embrace. He was grateful he had Clay, god knows where he would be without him. Clay managed to fumble some comforting words together.

"George, please just listen for a moment. You have to trust me on this. None of this was your fault, this wasn't anyones fault. I know you're confused, I'm confused too. This whole thing is just so fucked up, but I promise you that it isn't your fault. George, I love you, you're my best friend in the whole world, you mean everything to me, and I want you to be happy. I want you to stop putting the blame on yourself. Please, can you promise that for me?" Clay tried his best to sound strong and comforting, but George could tell he was just as exhausted and confused.

George didn't know what to say. He didn't know whether to believe Clay or not. He was somewhat convinced by Clays soothing voice. He was always right, the blonde. George let out a shaky sigh, and mumbled out a yes.

Clay looked into Georges red eyes, the two were so close, they could feel each others breath. George was quickly filled with nerves, he felt confused in this moment. He couldn't bring himself to look away. This moment felt special. George attempted to lean in closer, his heart beating quicker each second, until Clay spoke.

"George, I want you to know that I'm never going to leave you. I will forever be by your side. I know things are really rough right now, I know you're exhausted, but please know that you mean so much to me, and you can talk to me about anything. I would give everything for you to be happy and safe, so please, please try for me." Clays voice was dreamy, it deeply soothed George in a moment of panic. George blinked his sad, tired eyes and nodded. Clay pulled him into another hug. The silence was comforting for a change. George was safe, he never wanted to let go of Clay.

"I love you, George."

"I love you too, Clay."

George looks up at Clay, they're so close their noses are practically touching. George cracks a smile. This feels right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this was sad, sorry bout that lol. i wanted to say a big thank you for nearly 200 reads (on ao3)!! this was just a shit little book for my own amusement, but im happy that you guys are enjoying it! Theres lots planned for the next chapters, so stick around. thanks for reading everyone <3  
> Next chapter may be a little shorter


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay admits something that George isn't happy about.

George couldn't look away from Clay. He looked pretty when he cried. His ivory skin was glowing with help from the golden sunlight. His eyes were like gems, the way they shone. His eyelashes were long and dark, capturing tiny tear droplets. There wasn't a single thought going through Georges mind at this moment. He couldn't even process a thought, anyway. His body moved without his brain confirming. He moved closer to Clay, unable to stop himself.

Wait, what the fuck am I doing? Stop!

But his body continued to move, and he began to panic after seeing Clays confused reaction. The blonde pulled his head back, let out an awkward cough, and looked away from George.

Fuck.

There was a short moment of uncomfortable silence between the two. George was cringing at himself, his stomach curled in embarrassment. Clay let go of George and sat back down, George did the same. The aura was awkward, until Clay attempted to change the topic.

"Uhm, so, anything else happened since you've been home?" Clay faked a smile, rubbing his sore eyes, getting rid of excess tears. 

Another moment of silence. George knew that by staying silent for any longer would just make the situation more awkward, but he barely had any words.

"No, not really" George managed to spurt out. Clay looked back up at his friend, wondering if he should ask about Georges parents.

George had attempted to lose all contact with his parents since he moved out of their house. The constant texts he would receive from them panicked him.

"Just come home, George. What makes you think you can Leave us? You're ungrateful, thats what you are. This stupid charade needs to be done with. Come home." The last message from his mother read. George didn't even bother to open the message. The thought of his parents exhausted him, he had enough of them. He had spent too much time worrying and panicking over them. It's like they had a way of making themselves the victim of every situation, telling him that everything is his fault, that he's a horrible person, and a lot of the time he believed them. As a child, he barely spent any time with them, and when he did, it was torture. He remembers the nights when his father would come home drunk, angry and violent. He remembered his parents fighting, screaming, breaking things, and all George could do was hide under his covers and cry. As he grew older, he became more independent. He realised he didn't need his parents, he was his own person, they couldn't control him, and he was better than they said he was. But his parents didn't like the sudden change in their son. They grasped onto him, like they needed him. George tried so hard to push them away, but they always had a way to get to George. And sometimes, he would let them back in. It wasn't his fault, he barely had a childhood with them, he felt like he needed to go back to them. Truth is, he didn't. Yet he went back anyway.

Because they ruined him.

George snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Clays voice.

"What about your parents?" Clay said softly and quietly. He was anxious about accidentally saying something wrong. He was always cautious talking to George about his parents. Sometimes when George thinks about them for too long, he panics. Obviously, Clay didn't want that for his best friend. He stayed quiet, though he didn't mind if George didn't respond.

George straightened his back and formed a stern look on his face.

"What about them?" He asked, his voice hard as a rock. He glared out at the open field, his deep brown eyes were practically burning. Clay read Georges body language, worried he may have said something wrong, yet he responded to Georges question quietly.

"Well, are they still trying to talk to you?" He questioned calmly, his worried eyes glued to George. The brunette shrugged lightly, still staring out into nothing.

"I haven't been trying to, obviously." He responded. Clay nodded his head, George needn't say anything else about it, Clay easily understood why. There was another moment of silence between the two. George felt his insides burn, he had to keep speaking.

"I just don't understand why they think I would ever go back to them. Do they not realise that they've completely fucked me over so many times?" George turns towards Clay, a stiff look on his face.

"What makes them think that they could do all of that stuff to me, and then I would be fine with it? Are they fucking stupid? 'Georgie, come home, stop being an asshole, you're the horrible one, not us' They always say, as if I don't remember how they really are. I'm not an idiot, is that what they think? Do they think I'm dumb enough to go back to them?" George started to talk louder, his breathing getting a little heavier. Clay could sense Georges anxiety, and he dug his fingers into the ground.

"I don't want to go back, I never do." There was more silence. George looked up at Clay, both of them with worried eyes.

"I hate them. But i can't let go of them, no matter how hard I try. Fuck, I'm only kidding myself at this point, I don't know how they do it, but I always go back to them like a stupid lost puppy." Georges voice sounded defeated now. His chest felt woozy and heavy. Clay stayed silent. After another short moment, George let out a deep sigh and let go of his tension.

"It's fine. Enough about me." George gulped. He looked at Clay and smiled uneasily. Clay was still worried. He knew how George could get, and he quickly realised that it wasn't fine.

"Tell me everything I missed" George said in attempt to assure Clay. The blonde gulped and unclenched his jaw. He curled his right leg up to his chest, and let his other leg lie on the ground. He faced his body to George and smiled. George loved it when Clay smiled, and luckily it happened often. George observed the blonde, and smiled back. He had enough of sad, sappy conversations, he just wanted to forget about everything and be with Clay. Funnily enough, it was pretty easy to do that.

To George, Clay was the type of person that he could talk to forever, he could say anything and feel safe. His mind raced with thousands of different thoughts, until his brain stuck on a single thought.

This is all I want. Clay is all I want.

George felt so in the moment just looking at his favourite person in the world. Clay was certainly a sight to see. George was so still, admiring the boy in front of him, until Clay spoke and caught George off guard.

Clay chuckled and nervously looked at the ground with a smile on his face.

"Well, something great happened the other day. I met the most beautiful girl in the world, she makes me feel so special. I've never felt the way she makes me feel."

Georges heart stopped. His mind went blank, then all his mind could process was...

What...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa, two chapters in a day, who would have thought ! this one is shorter than the others, but the next ones will be longer.
> 
> I think im gonna start spending more time on this, because now i actually want this to go somewhere, the more i write, i feel like i should put more effort into it so that im really happy with it. so this is probably the only time that two chapters will come out in a day. but a chapter will most likely be out tomorrow. Thank you for nearly 300 reads on ao3 already holy shit !!  
> QUICK UPDATE: im working on another story ! not incredibly similar to this one, but its still dnf. i have no idea when the first chapter will be out, probably not too soon, but just a heads up, im gonna really take my time on it, i want it to be my best book yet :]


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George continues to try and resist Clay, but he isn't sure how long he can do it for.

What...?

George could barely move, barely breathe. He stared at the blonde boy in front of him, watching as his cheeks grew red. Georges heart dropped, and his chest felt hollow. His face was still, and his body stiff.

"I mean, she's just a friend" Clay shrugged, and continued to talk to avoid silence.

"But there's just... Something about her, you know? Like, when you meet someone and they seem too good to be true, you just want to be around them, they make you feel special. Does that make sense?" Of course it made sense to George, he's in that situation for christ sake. George faked a small smile and nodded to his friend. 

"Her name is Paige, and my god, she's cool." Clay fumbles with his words, obviously nervous at just the thought of this new girl. It made Georges stomach turn, he dug his nails into the palm of his hands.

"I mean, I could go on and on about this girl. She has horses too! I feel like we really connect, what with our similar interests and all." Clay attempts to say more, but all that comes out is stutters and short giggles. George attempted to match the blondes energy, but how was he supposed to do that with the information that was dropped on him like an anvil?

"Oh, but I'm sure that you've got an eye on someone, ladies man?" Clay suggested. It caught George off guard, and his whole body flinched. He looked at Clay, who had a curious and interested look on his face. George gulped, feeling a little woozy. It's not like he was going to just say "Yeah, you", he had to think of something not completely stupid and hopefully believable.

"Uh-" George stuttered, glancing around his surroundings in search for an answer.

"Y-yeah, I guess" George spat out, his mind rushing and constantly repeating

What the fuck are you talking about? That's so bullshit.

Clay widened his eyes and leaned forward. It made George nervous, how is he supposed to make something up that is actually believable right on the spot?

"Yeah, and old friend, I guess. I don't know, I'm probably getting my hopes up" George fake laughed to himself.

"Nonsense, you're a hit! You just don't know it yet." Clay yelped, catching George by surprise.

"Where's the confidence, king? Come on, you could get anyone!" Clay laughed, George turned slight red.

"Says you" George joked quietly. Clay rolled his eyes and wheezed in response. Silence filled the air, a somewhat awkward tension.

Spirit stretched her neck, and knocked Clays shoulder. The blonde turned to the white horse, looking jokingly offended. It was only until he noticed how far the sun had gone up since the boys arrived the top of the hill. He let out a quiet "Oh, shit", which caught Georges attention. He soon realised what Clay was talking about. They had been talking for about 4 hours without realising. No wonder their horses were getting impatient, they could only chew on the same spot of grass for so long. The boys gave each other the look of "we should go", they silently agreed with one another and stood up, getting on their horses and making their way back to the waiting cottage.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The horses slowed their trot as they reached the front garden of Clays cottage. George slipped off Amber slightly incorrectly, but it did the job. The brown horse stretched her neck to the ground, waiting for George to slip the saddle off her so her back could breathe. He could tell from her posture that those were her wishes, and he did so. Clay jumped off with ease, and quickly took off Spirits shiny tack. Though, as soon as he dropped the tack on the ground, he jumped on her bareback. The white horse continued to pick at the grass below her, and Clay turned to face the back of the horse. He laid back on Spirit, and she didn't seem to mind.

George knew it was wrong, but how could he not admire such a sight? George gave himself time to focus on every little detail of this picture in front of him. He watched from afar.

Clay had rolled up his sleeves of his green button up, letting his shirt flow in the slight wind. Clays long legs were dangling off the side of Spirit, his soft hands in his scruffy, dirty blonde hair. His green eyes were squinted, giving him little protection from the warm sun coming down on him. His chest slowly rose and fell, letting himself appreciate the crisp, warm air around him. He leaned his head on Spirits neck, and let his body relax.

To George, Clay looked like he was a king laying on a white silk bed. He looked precious, almost. Like it was illegal to touch him, he's just too delicate. George felt like it was so wrong, Clay was his best friend, he had his own life, his own romances. What George would do to just get close to him. It was too perfect of a moment. George didn't know whether to smile or to cry, he felt so much all at once. How could a boy this perfect by laying in front of him, and he couldn't do anything? Pulling away from all of the things he wanted to do was so hard.

Clay turned his head to face George, cracking a smile. George took a few steps forward, standing right on front of Clay, practically at the same height with the help of Spirits immense height. George relaxed his eyes, feeling Clays breath on him. The blonde looked at the pretty boy in front of him, the sun complimenting Georges face. Clay turned to lie on his side so he could get a proper look at George. In a tired but cute voice, Clay spoke. "What's up" He smiled. George took Clays hand, and they both relaxed and let it happen. They both felt right, safe, in this moment. George closed his eyes a little more, unable to wipe the smirk off his face, and leaned into Clay.

"You good?" Clay questioned. George snapped out of it, and he was back where he originally stood, looking at his concerned friend.

It never happened, he thought.

"Yeah, I'm good, just zoned out" George awkwardly laughed at his own sentence. Clay smiled back, and faced the blue sky for a little longer.

But he wished it happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops hi, this was shorter than i wanted it to be, but i promise next chapter will be longer. also holy shit thank you for nearly 500 reads on ao3, thats insane !! im at an old aesthetic library with my best friend, shes writing too, so check out her book, its really good hehe, anyway, enjoy :]  
> also i just posted the first chapter on my new book ! i’m pretty proud of it, it took a while, but i think i like where it’s going. it would be pretty swag if y’all could check it out :> either way have a good day/night !


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys talk about Clay's love interest and George doesn't know how to feel. Clay welcomes George to the village, but someone meets with the two.

That incredibly vivid thought stuck in the brunettes head for the rest of the day, though George didn't feel the need to get rid of it. It made him feel weird, but the more he visioned it, the more he wanted it. Clay was his best friend, always has been and always will be. But, God, George would kill for it to be more. Yet... he didn't understand why.

The thoughts were muffled out by the blaring wind in Georges ears. He looked around himself, practically forgetting his surroundings. Him and his best friend were on their way into the village not too far away from Clay.

Clay was in and out of talking about different things he wanted to do, stories about his cottage, people he has met, and so on. George knew that he was a big talker, so he would always peacefully listen, drifting in and out of getting lost in the blondes soothing voice. Clay was practically shouting over the music in the car. Even though he had the choice to turn the volume pf the bellowing music, he too was practically shouting out of pure energy, spitting out story after story.

The windows were all the way down in Clays old car, since the poor air conditioning wasn't much help. George continuously glanced over to Clays bright smiling face, trying to talk and pay attention to the road at the same time. The glimpses between the two boys were short, yet meant a lot for one reason or another. George couldn't stop smiling, but he still felt uncomfortable, somewhat angry. He wasn't sure what to feel. All he could do in that moment was listen.

"Yeah, no, moral of the story, don't use gasoline to burn shit when you're standing downhill, unless you wish for death" Clay laughed, finishing another story of a crazy near death experience. George laughed in shock, looking over at Clays joyous expression on his pretty face. George continued to look at his friend, and his emotions grew more intense. Confusion? Happiness? Anger? What's going on? No matter how many times he told himself to look away, his heart wouldn't let him.

Clay glanced over to George, and gave the brunette a warm smile. George felt his face get hot, but still couldn't look away. Nor could Clay. Everything else around the two was slowed and quiet, it was just Clay and George now. Georges chest tightened, not sure if it was a terrible or thrilling feeling. Neither of the two knew what to do, do they keep quiet or break the nerve wracking silence? Surprisingly, George coughed the silence away, quickly thinking of a new topic to talk about.

"So, tell me more about this girl you were talking about earlier. Paige, did you say it was?" George tried so hard to sound intrigued and happy for his friend, but it hurt to say that, and he hated that it did.

Clay immediately felt warm inside at the mention of the girl he's fallen for so quickly. He grinned and tilted his head back, holding in a giggle. He could tell his face was turning a little red. His cheeks were sore from talking and smiling, but that wasn't going to stop him. He let out a giggle. George felt his insides collapse at the sight of Clay.

"Oh my god, George, where do I even begin" Clay laughed, and George faked a smile in response, waiting for Clay to continue.

"Well, I met her at the village, where we're going, actually. A few months ago, I think" He paused for a big to let out a laugh, then continued. "It was a really good day, I saw her at the markets, she was buying homemade tea, and... Y-you know when you just see someone and you just can't stop looking, they're basically the most perfect person, you feel more... More whole now you've seen them?" Clay glanced over to George, waiting for a reply.

Of course I fucking know how that feels, George thought to himself. Though, he just nodded happily, and continued to listen to Clay. The blonde quickly smiled back, and looked back at the road, nearly forgetting he was driving.

"Yeah, so I was immediately head over heels, and I just couldn't not talk to her. S-so, I did, I walked up to her, god, I was so nervous, I was so scared I looked stupid and she would think I was a creep or something" Clay sounded like he was still insecure about that, But George knew that he was incredibly wrong.

"Turns out, we're very similar, and we talked for ages, our energy was matching, and it was the best feeling ever. For a moment, I thought she would have hated me, but I was in luck obviously. So we've seen each other a bunch of times since then, whether it was accidental or on purpose, either way we still had fun spending time together" Clay chirped, still unable to stop smiling. He loved talking about Paige, there was so much to say about her, to Clay, she was the most perfect human being. Clay stuck his hand out the window, trying to catch the wind.

"I've found my favourite person!" Clay yelled out the window.

George gave him a grin, and kept his eyes on the road ahead of them. His brain felt foggy, he felt like he wanted-no, needed to say so much.

_Clay, you're my favourite person._

_You give me the best feeling ever._

_God, you probably think I'm the creep in this situation._

_But all I want is a life in your shape, just like that song I listened to._

_Why can't you see me the way you see her?_

_Wait, why can't I stop feeling like this?_

_You're my best friend, nothing more._

_You're happy, and I'm happy for you._

_But it just fucking hurts. ___

__But he kept his mouth shut. His heart felt heavy, though he just wanted to feel happy for his friend. Sometimes when he thought about Clay too much, he felt selfish. Of course, Clay would make him so happy, but George felt like he didn't deserve Clay. As a friend or maybe even more. He always had a small feeling that Clay just felt bad for him, that he didn't really care for him. He hated it when he thought that, Clay meant so much to him, and he was so so scared that he would leave him one day. Though, sometimes George felt as if Clay should just do so, so nothing would be so fucked up._ _

__\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_ _

__George spotted the village in front of them, as they drove closer to their destination. It was truly a beautiful sight, like it was straight from a movie. Flowers, cute small markets, old signs, horses, it was unbelievable. George smiled at the scene, Clay noticing, and smiling in response. Clay could tell that George was excited by their trip to the village, and the blonde felt so happy about that. He loved to see his best friend happy, it was all he ever wanted to see. Clay slowed his old car as they made their way near the entrance._ _

__George just about jumped out the door, taking in the gorgeous atmosphere. Clay giggled at Georges reaction, and walked over to him._ _

__"You like it?" Clay asked, George cutting over his sentence._ _

__"Yes! This is so pretty, what the hell? This makes me hate the city" George laughed, not sure if he was joking or not. Clay wheezed in response, watching as George observed the breathtaking village. Clay lead the way to the markets, George attempting to not get distracted by everything he saw._ _

__Clay walked a little bit ahead of George and swivelled to face his friends way. He put his hands to his hips, giggling at Georges wild energy. He hadn't seen George in such a good mood since they were very young. He missed seeing George like that. He was so grateful that he could see that again._ _

__"Geez, you're excited, Gogy"_ _

__"I didn't know these places actually existed out of book and movies, it's so beautiful!" George laughed._ _

__He got the feeling again. The one he felt when he was charging up the hill back at Clays cottage with the blonde. He could barely contain the feeling of just pure happiness. He felt like his feet were barely touching the ground, like nothing else mattered but that moment. It felt so nice to forget every single bad thing going on, just pure hope and happiness. Nothing could ruin that moment for George. But..._ _

__"Clay!" The two boys heard a woman's voice yell from behind Clay. The voice was soft to the ear, like a princesses voice, it was very pretty. Clay turned back around, and noticed who's voice it was._ _

__George immediately knew who the voice was. He felt the smile fade from his face._ _

_You're fucking joking. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all ! goddamn, i haven't written in ages, sorry about that ahh !! i had absolutely no motivation at all for a while, and i didnt wanna write some terrible chapter, i wanted to take my time on it to write a chapter that was worth it. ill try my best to update more but school is back in a few days so i cant promise too much. again, sorry for the lack of updates. ill be updating my other book within the next few hours as well, so stick around for that homies :]


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George meets the girl Clay has fallen for, and George feels alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up, _italics _means a characters thoughts :]__

George locked his dark, frustrated eyes onto the new girl, feeling somewhat shocked. His eyebrows narrowed as he squinted his eyes, trying to get a better picture of the girl who was happily jogging towards Clay. As she came into focus, Georges heart dropped.

_Oh my fucking god, she's beautiful..._

____

__And she was, there was no denying it. Her dark, rich brown hair was shiny, mid length and curled a bit at the bottom, the rest mostly straight, some waves here and there. The bangs around her face were curled like a pigs tail, framing her face perfectly. Her eyebrows were dark, full and well shaped, contrasting from the rest of her slightly tanned skin. Her lips were full, a beautiful natural shade of pink, and her smile was full and gorgeous. What stood out the most were her breathtaking eyes, a bit similar to Clays. Her eyes were pig like a puppies, full of excitement. They were a mix of multiple colours; small patches of brown in the middle, fading to a beautiful light sea green, and the rings were an intense dark blue, making her eyes pop even more than they already were. Her cheeks and nose were kissed with freckles, they were very noticeable in the blooming afternoon sunlight. She wore a light cream off-the-shoulder thin dress that blew in the wind as she ran towards the boys, and as she came closer, George noticed the small flower print patterned across the dress. On her head was a wicker brimmed hat with a bow that matched the colour of her dress. She wore brown boots, surprisingly well taken care of for someone who lives in a dirty place in the middle of nowhere. She looked healthy, and obviously she took care of herself. And boy, she had fashion sense._ _

____

__George felt as if he couldn't breathe, he couldn't even move. All he could really do was watch as the woman happily bounced over towards both hers and Georges love interest. Well, he knew that there was a good chance he couldn't have Clay, but really?? Clay wasn't joking when he said she was perfect. George held his fragile breath._ _

____

__George managed to turn his head over towards Clay. The blondes eyes were big and bright, his cheeks tinted a rosy red, and the biggest stupid grin George had ever seen. George self stupid. Like he was acting like a child. But he couldn't help but clench his jaw in anger. The rage curled hot and unstoppable in his stomach, like he was being burnt from the inside out. And just as he thought that this couldn't get any worse..._ _

____

__Paige wrapped her arms around Clays neck like a chain. A poor attempt at a hug, really, considering Clay was incredibly tall, his height often intimidating at times, and the brown haired girl was at least a mere 5 foot 2, judging off of a glance._ _

____

__Clay wheezed at the hug, and hugged her back, but not really... George knew it wasn't a real hug. He knew what a real Clay hug was, and that one was far from it. George had a sense that something could be off, but it wasn't really his main focus at that point in time. George scoffed to himself, quietly enough that only he could hear himself, and stood uncomfortably, waiting for the two to part._ _

____

_Excessive._

______ _ _

____Paige quickly let go in an awkward action, and started to talk. Her eyes were deeply focused on Clay, barely noticing Georges presence at the beginning._ _ _ _

______ _ _

____"I thought I'd never see you again" Paige laughed. God, her voice was like honey, but George wasn't for it._ _ _ _

______ _ _

____"Oh, come on now. I'm not THAT horrible" Clay responded. George cringed at Clays words, he could very well tell that the blonde was faking a voice, possibly to impress her. His voice was deep, and words were said through a faint giggle. George couldn't tell if Paige was falling for it, but he certainly was, but Clay would never do anything like that to him. So, in a way, he felt inclined to be angry about it._ _ _ _

______ _ _

____Clay turned his head to face George, feeling a little guilty for his friend. He had absolutely no intention of blocking his best friend out, and Paige was kind enough, anyway. Clay was happy to introduce the two. Maybe a friendship, he thought. Hm._ _ _ _

______ _ _

____"George, this is Paige. Paige, George" Clay smiled, glancing over at the two, trying to gather their reactions._ _ _ _

______ _ _

____George flinched back into reality, out of this angered thoughts. His eyes widened for a short moment, and he put on a smile._ _ _ _

______ _ _

_Don't be a bitch, George..._

________ _ _ _ _

______"Hello!" George chirped, praying that he looked excited for this moment._ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

______"Howdy! I'm guessing you're the George I hear about all the time, it's so great to meet you!" Paige cheered. But she seemed genuine, no fake smiles. George was surprised, and felt a little guilty about faking ever single good emotion ever since he laid eyes on her. He couldn't be all that mad._ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

_At least Clay thinks of me, even with her around..._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

______George managed to spurt out a "Yep, most likely" followed by a short and awkward laugh, more of a mere exhalation of breath._ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

______"Welcome to our lovely little town! It isn't really much, but its cozy and simple, probably nothing compared to the city, I suppose" Paige commented. George felt a range of emotions at this point. His brain was telling him to feel and say so many different things at once, he was practically arguing with himself. He once again attempted to speak._ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Don't be a bitch, don't be a bitch, don't be a bitch... Play it cool._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Y-yeah, very different. Beautiful change, though" George responded, guessing that Paige was in a way asking a question. George was often on a high horse, always stating he was never awkward, and often enjoyed talking to new people. But he couldn't be more wrong. He barely noticed he was fiddling with his own fingers and constantly swallowing. Yep, very awkward. Fuck. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled in attempt to calm himself. Paige wasn't ready to end the conversation just yet, she was intrigued, meeting new people was her passion. She was sometimes like a puppy, full of energy and very loveable._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She continued to ask some more questions to George, obviously interested in the brunette. The more that she talked to him, smiled at him, engaged with him, he felt a wide range of guilt and sorry. She was an angel, but then again, George wished she would just go away. He couldn't shake the feeling, no matter how hard he tried._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________George could even sense the happiness, perhaps gratefulness radiating from Clay. Maybe pride? He wasn't too sure._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Paige and George finished off their small interaction, she turned her head around back to Clay who was patiently waiting behind the two. George felt a short moment of relief, and lowered his head, feeling terrible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________After a very quick chat between Paige and Clay, they turned back to George, and the brunette picked his head back up and tried to focus on the people in front of him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"Can we show you around, George?" Clay and Paige were practically talking at the same time, almost in unison, and they giggled at each other. George was still, not entirely phased._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________"... Sure" He finally responded, trying his best to seem interested, but all the excitement and curiosity had left him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The two lovebirds smiled at each other, trying to decide what they should show him first. Paige gestured George to follow them, and he begrudgingly walked behind them._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________With every second he laid his sore eyes on the two prancing in front of them like they were on a typical romance movie set, he could feel his heart shatter a little more._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And just like that, he felt alone again. He left the same as he did when he was back in the city. Too afraid to talk, not wanting to ruin anything for anyone, so he stayed quiet. That feeling he had of pure freedom, hope and happiness he got when it was just him and Clay was gone. The air was stale._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________George understood completely that he didn't own Clay, of course he could go and do other things, he never used to mind it when they were younger. But it was different this time. He hated that it was different._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_For fuck sake, he's mesmerised. ___

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya ! back with another chapter, im getting more into the writing mood again, ive been wanting to write this all day, but have only been able to post it now lol. for a bit i wasnt sure if i liked this book, but since last chapter ive thought about where it wants to go,im starting to like where its going more, and im excited to share it all with you guys :] and big thank for nearly 800 reads poghcamp!! new chapter of Safe With Me out soon too <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay and Paige show George around, who still cant really process everything. Clay does some thinking.

George hadn't felt this alone in quite a while, which was weird to him. Of course he wasn't really alone, Clay and his new 'friend' were trotting right in front of him, filling the air with happy conversations, but that was the problem. It wasn't much different than actually being alone, it was like Clay and Paige forgot he was there, like he was just the second option that was only cared for when the 'main character' wasn't there. That feeling always angered George, defeated him, too. There were people around him, but he still felt alone. Ignored. Forgotten. He couldn't help that, so he stayed silent.

What hurt George the most was that Clay looked so much happier. The constant smiles, laughs, eye contact, all made George feel so forgotten. He tried to reassure himself that he was just jumping to conclusions, but it obviously wasn't easy to believe that.

The three continues to walk for another few moments, George staying awkwardly quiet.

Paige turned her head to face George, noticing his body language. She calls out his name like he is miles away, and not only a few feet. George perks up his head, slightly annoyed at the sight of Clay looking straight forward like he wasn't there. Georges eyes are bright and alerted, still half out of it. 

Paige motions for George to walk up next to her and Clay, and the brunette speeds up to catch the two. He put on a smile to seem interested, and it boiled his blood to do so.

"What are ya doing standing back there? I'm not scary, I promise" Paige laughed. George responded similarly, only it was fake.

"Didn't want to interrupt you two" George responded, with more of a serious tone than he intended to have. Paige noticed, and raised her eyebrow slightly, before putting on another happy face.

"Don't be silly! We were just discussing what best things we could show you in town" Paige smiled. But she lied, and George knew so. He was good at listening, and he narrowed his eyes to her remark.

Ugh.

Paige bumped Clay with her elbow, with no response. How could he not feel that?

Was he deliberately ignoring George?

No, he wouldn't, right?

She attempted again, and this time Clay turned around. George scoffed to himself, and bit his lip. Clay just smiled, and this time, George didn't feel that great about it.

"Oh! Okay, George, follow us, it'll be worth it" Clay chirped. George didn't think so, he already wanted to go home. But he agreed nonetheless, not wanting to ruin the mood. They were having fun, and a part of George didn't want to ruin that for Clay and Paige.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About an hour or so later, George had seen enough of the village he no longer cared too much about. His cheeks were in pain from the pretend smiling, and he was simply tired.

He wasn't all that sure about how to think of Paige. Of course, she was an absolute angel, she was the one to include George in everything, and Clay just watched, barely talking to his best friend. His best friend. The one he just pretended wasn't there. George pleaded himself to stop thinking about it, it made him think too much and his brain was too tired for that. Maybe George was just being childish, Clay was not his. He wasn't Clays.

Unfortunately.

Just overreacting. Stop overreacting.

Paige spoke up.

"You alright, George?" George turned around to face the fellow brunette, her eyes narrowed and focused on George. He stumbled on his words.

"Y-yeah, just tired, not used to early morning just yet" He quickly made up a slight lie, not completely false, but close enough. Clay turned to look at Paige, nobody being able to read his emotions, barely even himself.

Paige turned to face Clay. "Maybe we can see each other another day?"

Clay didn't say anything for a short moment, the atmosphere then became a little uncomfortable.

"Of course?" He finally responded. He kept his eyes on Paige, trying to think of a response whilst staying sane in his own world. The two smiled at each other, and George silently observed.

Clay turned his head to George, the brunette clenching his jaw.

"It was lovely to meet you, George! Hopefully I can see you again before you're back home" Paige sung, yet it seemed genuine. George swallowed painfully, his chest feeling unrelieved. He nodded back, attempting to motion a "feelings mutual" back to her. They smiled at each other.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The boys headed back to Clays car, neither of them were all that talkative, though. They both felt... different. But for different reasons. As they climbed into the carClay attempted to start a conversation, saving them both from an incredibly awkward car ride home.

"So... Thoughts?" Clay questioned, keeping his eyes on the dirt road, George doing the same thing.

"She's..." George paused for a second, his voice getting quieter. "Really lovely, actually. Very kind" Another pause, even Clay didn't want so speak unusually. George spoke again, sounding defeated.

"I'm really happy for you, Clay" He lowered his head to look at his fiddling hands. His chest felt heavy, and his throat was clogged, he was barely able to swallow without it hurting.

Clay felt a smile creek from his face, but for some reason he wasn't even that happy. He didn't feel much, actually.

"Thanks, George. S-she makes me feel really good"

George turned his head to face Clay, his eyes still locked on the road with a small smile on his face. George narrowed his eyes, not able to look away.

Clay just wanted to get away from that moment, he wished he never asked George that question. He can't stop thinking. His mind starts to argue with himself.

_Of course she's nice. She's great. She's beautiful. ___

____

_Stop lying to yourself. ___

______ _ _

_I really like her, I want to be with her all the time. She's a beautiful girl, inside and out. ___

________ _ _ _ _

_You're doing it again. Stop. ___

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_George is my best friend. I... I love him too. As a friend, obviously. George is the best thing to happen to me, so why do I..._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

__Clay tensed up and bit the inside of his cheeks till they almost bled._ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_God fucking damnit. ___

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall, sORRY for not posting for two days aah- this chapter was shorter and a bit rushed, but there is SO much stuff coming in the next few chapters you are going to lose your fucking mind lmAO
> 
> ill try and get back into posting daily, maybe every two days, hopefully i can keep a schedule :]
> 
> co posted on wattpad


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have a discussion, and Clay offers George something

George and Clay made their way home, small conversations here and there. But they both knew something wasn't right. But it was different for both of them, and neither wanted to ask any questions. It was hard to talk anyway. So what was the point? The drive wasn't too long. But it was just... Weird.

When they didn't talk in the car, the silence was painfully loud, and both of them knew that today didn't go all that well. Both boys had different reasons, but they kept it to themselves. It didn't even have to be awkward, but it was something neither of them could help.

George glanced up to get a bit of a sense of where they were, and he noticed they were nearing the end of the road. He let out a sigh of relief, that car ride was too anxiety filling for the both of them.

But again, it didn't have to be awkward, and it was time for one of them to change the subject.

"Jesus, it's 5pm" Clay muttered loudly enough that George could hear him. As much as George really didn't want to respond to Clay, he wasn't going to let the situation get worse. So he went along with it. Maybe he could try and get everything back to normal.

"Yeah" George responded through a small laugh. "Evening activities" He looked into Clays eyes, the blonde already staring at George. Clay smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over him.

_See? Everything is okay, just stop thinking about it. ___

__The boys got out of the uncomfortable car, internally thankful to be back home._ _

__The uneasy tension started to die down, which was relieving. Clay wobbled towards the bonnet of his car and climbed onto it, sitting comfortably. He focused his eyes on George and patted the car, giving the brunette a small and warm smile. George narrowed his eyes, but accepted the request. He trotted over to the car and very carefully hopped onto the car and sat next to Clay, leaning on his hands that were behind him for support._ _

__George felt two of his fingers touch Clays hand, and shock went through his body. Should he move? Would that make it more weird? He glanced over to analyse Clay, but he didn't look bothered at all. George was holding his breath, but let himself calm down after acknowledging Clays silent expression to say it was okay. George sighed, and faced the sun, Clay doing the same._ _

__Both boys could read each others vibe, and it sounded like it was going to be a calm night, which they both craved so dearly. They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to the birds say goodnight to one another, and the owls only just waking up, the leaves in the massive trees bumping into each other, just nature communicating. George felt grateful in this moment, being able to listen to nature, and even better, with the person he cared about the most. As much as he felt Clay hurt him (even though it wasn't really his fault), he still cared for him so much. And stupid emotions wasn't going to change that. Ever._ _

__Clay was in his own world in his head, thinking about anything and everything, didn't matter what, he just let himself think. He never usually did that, but he felt it was a good moment._ _

__He thought about Nick. Thought about Paige. But mostly, George. The pretty brown eyed boy sitting right next to him. He thought about the day that George arrived and the conversations they had. He was glad that George let himself talk about sensitive subjects; his parents, Nick, just everything. But that didn't stop him from worrying. He always worried about George, the boy who had been through so much, and is still basically a kid. He knew George could be strong, it was just sometimes he couldn't do some things on his own. That's primarily the reason Clay asked George to come to his cottage in the first place. Even through text, he knew that George wasn't okay. Clay couldn't even comprehend how horrible it would have been to get that call about Nick. He knew George would still carry the guilt of it, and it hurt the blonde. He was too worried to let George be alone, and Clay needed company either way._ _

__He just knew George needed to get away, and to have someone near him._ _

__"Have your parents tried to talk to you again?" Clay asked gently, turning his head a little bit to have George in his peripheral vision._ _

__George narrowed his eyes and bit his lip, and darted his eyes to the grass below the car._ _

__"Not really. I don't want them to talk to me."_ _

__Clay nodded slowly, still waiting to see if George would elaborate, in which he did._ _

__"I just-" George paused to allow himself to wrap his head around what was about to come out of his mouth._ _

__"I don't understand why they can't just leave me alone. They know I don't need them, they're the ones that need me. I'm not their little kid anymore... I never was, really."_ _

__Another pause. George could feel himself waft through different emotions. Anger, then slowly defeat and anxiety._ _

__"I don't wanna crawl back to them again, they always fucking know I do. God, what if I do? What am I gonna do...?" He grew quieter, yet more anxious as he spoke._ _

__Clay narrowed his eyes, he truly felt for his friend. He remembered the last time George went back to them, and he didn't want it to happen again. He turned his head properly to look at George. His eyes were glassy and pointed straight at the ground. Clay could feel the anxiety ride in George._ _

__"George, listen..." The brunette look up at Clay, not caring if he was crying._ _

__"I care about you more than you will ever know. Your parents mean nothing, don't ever think you're in the wrong. Remember, their behaviour is a reaction of their toxicity, not who you are. Why they're like this, I don't know, but they shouldn't be doing any of this to you. A-and I won't lie, I'm worried too. I love you, man."_ _

__With every word that Clay spoke, George felt more and more heartbroken, till there were tears starting to run down his face, and he felt like a child again, just in need of help. Just wanting a hug. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and let out a very shaky sigh. Clay couldn't bare the sight of his best friend, and he pulled him into a hug._ _

__George didn't hug him back, as much as he wanted to, he just didn't have the strength. He let himself sit in the warm embrace of Clay. He let go of the tension in his body and sloped against Clay. He leaned his head against Clays chest, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat. It made him feel safe, grounded, real. The beating that hit his ear was like a barrier to protect him from evil. He was okay, he was safe, and Clay wasn't going to let him go._ _

__"You can stay here for as long as you want, George. Your company is amazing and I missed it so much. You're so much more than welcome to stay here longer."_ _

__George smiled through his tears, and Clay felt him nod. The blonde cracked a relieved smile._ _

__"I love you, Gogy"_ _

__George remembered the nicknames that the three boys used to call each other, and he exhaled a laugh._ _

__"I love you too, Dream"_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise shawty its a half angst half fluff chapter !! im sleep deprived rn, so hopefully this isnt shit, i cant really tell right now lmAo- either way, enjoy !! :]  
> co-posted on wattpad


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lots of fluff lol

In a way, George felt guilty for so many things. He knew that Clay was the one to offer him to stay longer, but what if he was lying? What if he just felt bad for George? The thoughts made his skin crawl. He bit his lip, and stared down at his fiddling fingers.

He always despised when his brain made him feel like that. Did he rely too much on Clay? Was it time to take his matters into his own hands? Well, for a while, he thought everything was going fine, he felt in control of his life and that things would be okay. Then, of course, George received the phone call that changed everything. Then he was back at square one.

George gave himself a minute to think about the awful nights. He knew he shouldn't have let himself think too much about them, but there wasn't much controlling it. He remembered the phone calls with Clay, the nights that he felt he was out of control of himself and just needed someone to talk to, and they made him shutter in guilt.

"You're okay, George, okay? Breathe with me" He remembered his friends words.

Clays voice always soothed him, it made all the other bad voices go away. But sometimes George felt terrible for taking up his friends time. Maybe Clay was tired of him. Maybe everyone was tired of him.

George groaned in annoyance of his own brain, practically sick of his minds shit. He slammed the rest of his body on his bed and stared at the wall in his dark room. 

Everything with him and Clay just felt... Different now. But why should it? Because a girl is in the scene now? Why should George be jealous by that? He was morbidly angry at himself for overthinking his feelings towards Clay. He began to think of possible ways he could act around Clay that might just have the chance to make George stop feeling such wild emotions around Clay. Maybe that was a bad thing, though.

_Clay isn't mine._

_I don't like him._

_He doesn't like me._

_So what's the point?_

_Clay. Isn't. Mine._

_But, fuck, I wish he was. ___

__Georges eyebrows narrowed deeply without him even noticing. His surroundings and even his physical self was out of the picture at that moment._ _

__Sometimes George wished that he could just have a normal fucking life, having a normal best friend to do best friend things with, to have parents who treated him with actual decency, to have his other best friend back. That would be his fucking dream. Living peacefully for once, without stupid emotions and thoughts getting in his way. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Was all of this his fault?_ _

__George was restless, with every toss and turn he became more awake and more frustrated with himself. He just wanted Clay. No, he didn't, he was just overthinking it. It was practically a battle between two loud voices in his head. That wasn't helping him much either._ _

__George sat up quickly, shooting out an angry and forced sigh. His eyes were narrowed and the insides of his cheeks were in pain from him biting them. He crossed his arms and dug his fingers into his pail skin. Now wasn't the time to panic. He just had so much... Physical anger he needed to get out. Maybe he was being childish, a fool._ _

__"Hey, George" A worried voice said from Georges doorway. The brunette flinched and looked up, seeing Clay awkwardly standing at the door, looking anxiously at George. He lost all the tension in his body, but held his breath._ _

__"Just... Wanted to check in quickly. Are you okay...?" Clays voice seemed genuine and curious. George wanted to roll his eyes, but all he could do was look down at his lap. He didn't reply, and after a short moment, Clay slowly walked over to his side and sat next to him on the creaky bed. He looked over at George, who's eyes were still pinned to his lap. For some reason, the sight made the blonde feel guilty, he didn't even know what to do. He could easily tell that the answer to his question was a no._ _

__"Did something happen?" Clay wasn't really sure why he was continuing to ask questions, he was definitely sure he wasn't going to get an answer out of George. But he didn't mind, he understood that. He had known George long enough to know he wasn't the biggest talker when he wasn't feeling so great. He didn't need an explanation._ _

__And like hell if George was going to tell him anyway. How could he?_ _

__George wasn't really thinking at this point. He just said what he wanted to say and didn't give a fuck about the consequences._ _

__"I don't wanna be alone tonight" George silently said, his voice cracking between words._ _

__Clays chest felt heavy, and he let out a sad smile. George still didn't look up._ _

__Clay softly held Georges hand and began to stand up, George snapping back to the real world and following him._ _

__"Come on" Clay whispered._ _

__The two walked into Clays room, it was quite a lot bigger, quite nicely decorated to Georges surprise. Clay happily jumped back into his wrinkly and already untidy bed, leaving space for George. The brunette stood in the middle of the room, feeling like a child. Clay smiled and patted the bed next to him. Why did he enjoy this so much...?_ _

__George slowly walked to the bed, his pristine cautiousness making Clay giggle._ _

__"I'm not gonna kill you, Gogy" He smiled, and George smiled back. For some reason that made him feel warm, safe. He picked up the pace and got onto the bed, the two boys facing each other, though they could barely see one another from the very dim natural light coming from the millions of stars outside._ _

__"Tomorrow is just for you and me, all day. We can do whatever we want. You'll be okay, George. Tomorrow us a day for us" Clay said quietly. George smiled so much his cheeks hurt. That was all he wanted._ _

__"So shut up and sleep" George joked, making both of them let out soft laughs. Though George couldn't see, he heard the movement of Clay getting in a comfortable sleeping position, so he did the same._ _

__They both said their goodnights. It still bedazzled George how easily Clay can make everything bad go away so quickly. Not that he was complaining, but he just felt so lucky. God, no wonder why he fell for him._ _

__Tomorrow would be a good day. It had to be._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my GOD IM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING SINCE LIKE THE START OF THE MONTH I FEEL SO BAD-
> 
> um shorter chapter, i just havent really found a way to put this story into words and i was really busy with other stuff but hEre she is guys gals and non binary pals and everyone in between :]
> 
> co-posted on wattpad


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Clay enjoy a fun-filling morning together

Clay had been used to waking up by the early sunrise for quite a while, but he didn't mind it at all. Better than a shit alarm clock at least. He slowly opened his tired eyes. He was facing the window that was next to his bed in the corner of the room, and saw the golden sun peaking over the hill. His eyes were barely open, merely squinting as he quietly turned around to face George lying beside him, sound asleep. Clay propped his head up high enough to get a proper view of George, and cracked a smile.

George looked pretty when he slept, Clay thought. There wasn't any tension in his body, and his eyes weren't forced shut, just softly closed. His chocolate brown bed hair was scruffed and curled, a cute shaggy mess. Clay wanted to touch it, but he remained still. The covers of the bed were pulled up to just below Georges nose, like he was peeking out of a hole. His breathing was slow and relaxed, he looked peaceful. Clays eyes were still half closed, but focused on George. For some reason. Clay was barely awake enough to realise what he was doing, and it wasn't like George was going to be awake anytime soon.

Or so he thought. Shit.

Georges eyes crept open, not completely rendering where he was. He had practically forgotten that night, and a part of him was glad that he did. This bed was comfy, and he didn't feel so alone. That was yet another thing he hated about home. How so alone he was. His apartment was always quiet and still. Sometimes that was good, but when George needed someone to talk to, it was painful to even look at his empty home. But that morning was a nice change. But when he registered his surroundings, he noticed Clay staring at him, looking like he was in a happy daydream. But he was looking at George...?

George was a little shocked, and Clay could tell. The blonde snapped back into reality, and widened his eyes. Uh oh.

"Shit, uh s-sorry George, I-" Clays voice was panicked, his face tinted red, but George cut him off before he could say anything more. George couldn't help but let out a giggle before he spoke.

"Shut up Clay, you're fine" George smiled. Clay let out a quiet sigh of relief. The both of them sat in silence, brown eyes looking into green. Was this awkward, though? Neither of them could really tell, they weren't awake enough just yet. 

The birds outside had just woken up, chirping one another a happy good morning. The boys sat in the silent room, listening out for small noises from outside. Clay hadn't been this relaxed of a morning time in a while, and if anything he as just glad that he could sit in bed. He didn't do nothing often. Which made sense, he lived on a farm, there's always something that needs fixing, animals to be fed and taken care of, he barely got a break. Just something in that moment, the room being slowly lit up by the morning, his warm bed, and for the first time, George. In his bed. With him. Clay got a weird sensation in his chest. He wasn't uncomfortable, not awkward, but he wasn't sure if he should be. He was comfortable and calm, but was that the right reaction? It should be, they're friends, friends share beds all the time. It's a friend thing. Just a friendly friend thing.

It took George a while to get to his senses, and when he came to the realisation that the two had been mesmerising one another for a solid few minutes, Georges insides flinched, and started to panic. Maybe it was weird.

"What's in store for our day, huh?" George tried to start a subject. No more staring for christ sake. Clay blinked a few times, the gears turning in his brain. He rubbed his tired eyes and let out a much needed sigh.

"Uhh, whatever we want" Clay said, half joking. George didn't reply, he just smiled. As he became more aware of the situation and his surroundings, George felt panic slowly crawl up him like a slug. A very uncomfortable feeling, slow rising, but hard to get rid of in a way.

"A chill day is long overdue" George breathed, pure and obvious exhaust in his tired tone. Clay couldn't agree more.

The boys smiled at each other. It was a new day, no time to waste.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

It was earlier than both the boys expected, but they wanted to enjoy the warm sunrise while they still could. Before the boys walked out of the house to hang in the paddocks somewhere, Clay quickly swivelled around and jogged to his room. George turned around to watch him, his eyebrows narrowed, and he smirked with curiosity. After a short moment, the blonde jumped out of his room with something big in his hands. George quickly realised what it was, an acoustic guitar. A bright smile grew on his face, and Clay did the same when he saw Georges reaction.

"You never told me you were big on music" George scoffed. Clay wheezed, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't say I'm BIG on it, but every now and then its a fun little thing"

"Mate, I haven't even heard you sing"

Clay laughed at his friends remark. 

"Well, uh... Make of it what you will?"

George smiled at him, excitement in his eyes.

The boys walked out of the door, and George lightly gasped at the sight of the golden ground lit up y the sun. That view would never get old. He was snapped back into reality when Clays guitar was thrown at Georges chest. George turned his head to see Clay speed walking away.

"ONE SECOND!" Clay yelled out. George chuckled to himself, confused and curious. But he waited patiently for the blonde to return.

It wasn't long until Clay came back, holding a rotted, most likely unsafe wooden ladder. His face was full of purity, his green eyes lit up. George raised his eyebrow at his friend. Clay said nothing, and propped the ladder against the side of the house. It was just tall enough to reach the slanted roof. He stood next to it, hand on his hips, like he was so proud of himself. George gave him the look of 'you can't be serious', but Clay had never been more serious. He walked over to George and politely grabbed the guitar off him. Clay grabbed Georges hand, which surprised the brunette, but he didn't have much time to react, because he was already being dragged to the crusty ladder.

George looked up at the roof, observing it cautiously for a moment.

"Is this... Safe...?" George questioned, not taking his eyes off the ladder. In his peripheral vision, he could see Clay shrug and smile.

"Probably. But hey, nothing is fun without taking risks, hm?"

George thought about that for a bit, and slowly nodded. All the fun stories that Clay had told him about living here, all the funny yet terrifying near death experiences, all those memories were made from taking risks. So why not have a little fun?

"Ladies first" Clay joked. George scoffed.

"Shut up"

Clay wheezed at Georges response, the brunette rolling his eyes, but couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He stepped towards the ladder and slowly but surely climbed up.

He was relieved when he reached the roof, and let out a sigh. He propped himself comfortable at the top of the roof, waiting for Clay to follow, only to hear a yell from him.

"HEADS!" George blinked and widened his eyes. Clays dark wood guitar was in the air, coming for George. He let out a squeak of fear, but managed to catch it, which he was secretly proud of. Clay yelled out again.

"YOU BETTER HAVE CAUGHT THAT" George laughed.

"SURPRISINGLY YOU WON'T HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE" George yelled back. Clays head popped up at the top of the ladder, a massive grin on his face. George showed off the guitar like it was a million dollar item. Clay made his way next to George who handed the guitar to him. Clay sat in silence, trying to think of a song. He looked up at the sky, squinting in thought.

"What's that song bu uh..." Clay clicked repeatedly as if it would help his train of thought.

"By Mumford and Sons" He said quieter, but still loud enough for George to hear. George looked down for a moment, then locked his eyes on Clay once more.

"Little Lion Man...?" George suggested. A smile cracked from Clays mouth, and the two locked eyes.

"You read my mind" Clay purred. His white teeth shone as much as his eyes in the sunlight. His eyes were so pretty in the morning light, they made the colour of his eyes pop, some golden flakes were visible in that light too. Clay breathed a laugh out through his nose, and winked at George.

George held his breath at Clay, he felt like a brick in his stomach dropped, hitting low. He froze for a short moment, and felt his face get uncontrollably hot.

_Are you fucking kidding me, ooooohhh my god. ___

__Clay acted like he didn't notice. He was just teasing him. Like friends do, you know. The blonde glanced down at the strings of his guitar and adjusted his fingers to the right frets and strings, and began to play._ _

__Georges eyes widened unnoticeably, and a faint smile grew on his face. He leaned back on his hands, flexing his toes to the beat he made out of the song._ _

__George could tell that Clay was getting into it, and it made him feel so warm inside. Look at him go! George wasn't told about Clays musical talent, but he wasn't offended, he was glad he could hear it anyway. He liked discovering little things about people. It goes to show that there is always little things people are hiding, good or bad._ _

__"Weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart" Clay sung out, slowly gaining more confidence. Of course, he lived by himself, and this was his special little thing, his special thing he wanted to show George._ _

__Georges eyebrows leaped in shock. God, what couldn't Clay do? Nothing was really rendering in Georges brain, he just listened in shock._ _

__"Weep, little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start" With every word that Clay sang, his smile widened, and so did Georges._ _

__"Rate yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left. And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head"_ _

__At this point, George wasn't paying attention to the lyrics like he usually did. He was too caught up in Clays soft but meaningful voice. He felt so lost in the moment, but in a good way, a very good way. He continued to smile and bop along to the words coming from Clays mouth._ _

__Out of nowhere, still playing, Clay stood up on the slanted roof and played with passion, his smile bigger than ever._ _

__"Clay, you're gonna-" George stopped mid sentence._ _

__Nothing is fun without taking risks._ _

__He sat quietly, letting himself smile, eternally cheering his best friend on. Clay was singing loudly, kicking his feet around as he danced on the unsafe roof. George couldn't help but laugh, it was such a pure moment, he just had to take in every moment of it in, what fun they were having. Him and Clay, singing, playing and dancing on the roof on a warm spring morning. George couldn't stop giggling._ _

__"But it was not your fault but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear?" Clay played, hopping around in little circles whilst balancing on the tip of the roof. He knew what he was doing, George needn't to worry. And he wasn't worrying about anything. Literally nothing. That was the first time he hadn't worried about at least something in way too long. His best friend made him the happiest, and that was evident in that moment._ _

__A collage of aah's came along in the song, which George recognised, and quietly sand along with Clay. The blonde turned to George and smiled, continuing to sing. There was a short pause in the playing of the guitar in the song, which gave Clay the chance to gesture to George to stand up. Surprisingly, George didn't take a second to hesitate._ _

__The boys looked at each other with wide eyes and happy smiles, singing along together._ _

__But it was not your fault but mine" The both yelled out at the same time, and the passionate and loud guitar playing continued like never before. The two began to hop around on the roof, twirling around and yelling out the lyrics, barely singing anymore, just pure fun and yelling of words, the both of them. George couldn't get enough of this moment. He tried to stop between the words to breathe, but he just laughed out loud instead. The two twirled around each other, Clay jumping up and down to the beat of the song. The lyrics didn't matter, nothing mattered, really. The only thing that mattered was George and Clay, having the time of their life. Nothing could get much better, George thought._ _

__The song died down at the very last part, and George fell quiet, Clay continuing. Georges cheeks hurt from grinning so much, but they didn't loose eye contact. George could hear the smile through Clays voice, which made his stomach twirl. Clay sang quieter, not actually yelling this time, just a peaceful, soothing, yet excited voice._ _

__"But it was not your fault but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really fucked it up this time, didn't I, my dear? Didn't I, my dear?" Clays guitar was plucked one last time, and his smile didn't fade. There was at least a second of silence between the two, until George burst into pure laughter and happiness._ _

__"What the fuck, that was awesome!" The brunette yelled, Clay wheezed in response. George was throwing hand gestures around, trying to find words to say._ _

__"I-I didn't know you could sing! Holy shit! That was amazing, Clay! I was scared for a second when you stood up, but it was so cool, and-and then I joined and i couldn't stop laughing and-" George couldn't stop himself from laughing. He was describing literally everything that happened like a child as if Clay wasn't there in the first place, but he let George talk whilst wheezing in the background of the brunettes yelling._ _

__George shot his head up to the sky, still in a laughing fit, and threw his arms around, twirling around on the spot._ _

__This was his happy place._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO MUCH FLUFF THIS WAS SO SEROTONIN FILLING TO WRITE WOOOO
> 
> but will the fluff last long...? >:]
> 
> find out later lmAO
> 
> hope yall enjoyed! thank you for reading everyone, love you all ! thank you for nearly 1.2k as well :]
> 
> co-posted on wattpad


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clay wants to tell george something

The energy in the air had slowly died down in between chats from the boys. Nothing special, just general topics. The crisp morning air had made the boys a little woozy. But that didn't make the smile off of George's face fade a single bit. George turned around to face the still rising sun and tried to get comfortable in an awkward position, since they were sitting at the very top of the raggedy pointy roof.

George then felt a pressure fall onto his back, it was Clay. The two basically balanced on the roof by one another's force. Clay began to pluck some simple strings, making a soft melody. Clay had himself balanced nicely, like he did this often (which was true), his legs were out with one on top of the other. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, listening to Clays guitar.

Clay was careful with what he was going to say, though he looked calm on the outside, there were still little things in the back of his mind that he was trying to suppress. Now wasn't the time for overthinking.

Meanwhile, George was in his own happy place. He took in every moment happily, it was so nice to finally feel like he could just breathe without shit going wrong. He observed the nature around him. The different coloured trees (well, for George, the trees were just different shades of yellow) and which ones had more leaves or more flowers, or if any dead trees were evident. He tried to pinpoint the different birds he could hear, some with adorable high pitched chirps, and every now and then, a loud caw from high up in the sky. He paid attention to Clays playing, too. What strings he was picking, or what song he was strumming to, maybe it wasn't a song, just a nice melody he made up. Either way, it sounded beautiful. George couldn't help but smile and let out a small chuckle, closing his eyes and tilting his head down, until he regained his composure and breathed deeply.

On the other hand, Clays annoying brain was racing in a moment of comfort and peace, well, that's what it should have been for him. He wasn't sure why he felt that way, though. Multiple reasons, perhaps? Maybe none at all.

George.

Paige.

... George.

Ugh.

Clay was definitely grateful for that morning. George had never looked so happy. And he was, too.

Clay realised he was the happiest around George, and it was easy to tell that the feeling was mutual. Did that mean anything, though?

The only company that Clay really had was his animals, and on occasion, Paige. What a girl. She was lovely, beautiful too, there wasn't really any denying it. Now, Clay did love spending time with her, so he thought, but Clay came to realise her company was nowhere near as comfortable as his time with George. It's like George was so different. Maybe Clay just forgot how he felt around his best friend. Or maybe something changed. Clay shook the feeling away and pulled himself back to reality.

George hadn't even thought of Paige since the night before. He planned to keep it that way. He felt so in the moment that nothing could bring him out. Well, he just tried his best not to get distracted by anything, any stupid thoughts that had been dug into his brain, for now, they were at ease. All that mattered was he was with Clay, and he was happy.

George had tried to force himself to stop thinking about how he felt about Clay. But nothing could change his mind about him. Simultaneously, he was goofy and childish, but wise and quite mentally old for his age. That was what George knew, though. Clay was like every other human being on the inside. He could handle tough situations well, but deep down he was just as scared and sometimes helpless as anyone else. George didn't know that, though.

Clay was so special to George. Maybe that was why he got angry at the sight of Paige. He felt selfish, but he just wanted Clay, and maybe that was selfish.

George saw Clay as a reminder that not everything was so bad, and he was okay, or at least was going to be. George felt like he relied on Clay a lot more since Nick died. That was an awful night. George was the one to tell Clay for christ sake. They cried for hours, and they called every single day for weeks after that. They couldn't leave each other alone, they couldn't leave themselves alone. Clay especially tried his best to make sure George wasn't hiding anything bad from him. He didn't believe he was, but he was still cautious. The kid has been through enough, and Clay knew he always hated being alone anyway.

But sometimes George did hide things from Clay.

"You know you can call me if you ever feel bad, unsafe, anything. Please don't hesitate, George"

Clay would say that to George on repeat, because he really meant it. Most of the time George did, but he had his nights. He had his nights where he was so exhausted and so drained and just so fucking terrible that he couldn't speak one word to anyone, nor could he process an actual thought, just a brain full of mess and frustration and hurt. He would sit in his lonely room, in his lonely apart, in his own lonely world, and just cry until he couldn't anymore. Those nights he could never bring himself to talk to Clay, so he just sat in his own tears, multiple soggy puddles forming on his bed sheets. Clay didn't know about those nights, but a small part of him expected something along those lines. He just thought he was crazy, though. He just thought George wouldn't do that.

Sometimes people have their little secrets.

It seemed that the boys were creeping up on the same secret mindset, but like hell they would let that ruin the mood.

"Hey, Clay?"

The blonde looked up and turned his head so he had George in his vision. But he didn't look worried or angry, in fact Clay noticed a small smile creep onto Georges thin lips. Clay gave him a smile back, feeling somewhat reassured.

"What's up?"

George didn't respond right away, the two just looked at each other. Clay didn't know what to assume. George looked down for a quick moment, and stuttered out some words.

"I feel like I don't really say this enough." He started, for some reason struggling to word what he was thinking correctly. Clay raised his eyebrows, a little lost, but continued to listen.

"You're my best friend in the entire fucking world. Like- Like you don't understand. I haven't even been here long, but the time I spend here with you has been the happiest I've been in... So long. You don't know how happy and just grateful I am to have met you. God, without you, I don't know where I would be. You're like the brother I never had. I'm proud of the person you've become here, and that you even still talk to me to this day" 

_You keep me smiling when all i wanna do is disappear. ___

__George said in a happy chuckle before continuing._ _

__"I'm... Really glad that you're happy with your life here and-... I'm happy for you, that you've met Paige. She seems like a lovely girl." George tried so hard to keep his composure. He told himself he wouldn't think about Paige, but there he was, talking about her right to Clays face. But when George looked over to the blonde, he didn't see the expression he thought he was going to see. There was no happy Clay, there was a puzzled Clay, a confused, almost sad Clay. Odd. George shook it off for the moment._ _

__George brought his knees up to his chest and placed his hands on them._ _

__"Just, thank you" He locked eyes with Clays, whose were glassy at this point. George raised his eyebrow and smiled._ _

__"You could have warned me, I wasn't expecting to cry, dude" Clay joked through a laugh. He placed his guitar down and stood up quickly, balancing himself. He grabbed Georges unwilling hand and yanked him up into a hug, the both of them striving to keep their balance._ _

__"I love you, man. I'm glad you came down, George. You're my favourite person, you better know that"_ _

__George felt his heart melt. He smiled at Clays comment._ _

__You're my favourite person, too._ _

__"But uh, about the Paige thing..."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol hey everyone, sorry not sorry for the cliffhanger shit will possibly go down very soon hAH
> 
> i really love reading all your kind comments, they really make my day, you guys are so sweet ! <3
> 
> happy reading guys, gals, non-binary pals and everyone in between :]


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay argues with himself whether he should tell George the truth or not.

Clay ran his fingers through his dirty blonde locks, nervously darting his eyes away from George. Too much eye contact, he thought. Come on now.

George's head perked up at the mention of Paige coming from Clay. He kept his eyes on the anxious looking boy.

Clay was instantly filled with regret after his words. Oh god, he didn't want to say anything at all. He bit down on the inside of his cheeks, and kept his hand sitting in his hair.

Shit, what could he say?

_George, I lied._

_It's not... Like that._

_I hate hiding things from you._

_I don't... Want her._

_I don't even know if I ever did, really._

_There's a fucking reason I still want you here._

_I don't want you to be my best friend._

_I don't want her._

_I want... ___

__Clay cleared his throat and cracked a very awkward smile. George sat there with a straight face. So many different thoughts and scenarios were running through his head. What was Clay talking about? George had already admitted to himself that luck wouldn't really be on his side, so he started to assume the worst. They're just going to run away together and get married and live in a mushroom house or some bullshit along those lines. George scoffed in his mind, but kept his ears open for Clay to continue. It had been silent for too long, it was getting weird at that point._ _

__"Well, what about her..?" George asked, his tone light and curious. Clay didn't respond, and kept his eyes low, refraining from any sort of eye contact. George narrowed his eyebrows._ _

__"Clay, you can tell me anything, I won't mind" George lied. But it wasn't like he was going to tell the truth, and it didn't seem like Clay was going to either._ _

__Clay argued with himself, he didn't want to ruin the day, it was already going so well. But what the fuck was he going to do?_ _

__"I uh..." He paused, George was just relieved the blonde finally started talking._ _

__"Was... Going to see her again... Tomorrow?"_ _

__Oh for fucks sake._ _

__"Oh"_ _

__Clay could hear the slight pain in Georges voice. He had fucked up, hadn't he. Regret, regret, regret._ _

__Clay felt his heart drop like an anvil in his chest. He hated lying, he really did. Especially to George. But there was no way in hell he was going to tell the truth. Not yet._ _

__"Thats cool!" George acted excited, but all he wanted to do was scream. "I-I can stay home if you wanna" George added, a little quieter. Clays eyes widened at the brunettes comment and burst into talk._ _

__"No, no, no, I want you to come! She-she really likes you I bet, she gets along with everyone" Clay pleaded. He wasn't wrong, even George couldn't deny that she was everything a person wanted. Kind, pretty, warm, funny, caring. Georges skin crawled._ _

__Maybe if he was like Paige, shit would be different. But he didn't know any better._ _

__George forced a smile onto his face. Good for Clay..?_ _

__Clay felt like he had the need to apologise, it was getting harder to keep his mouth shut. He felt so wrong, like a terrible person, not only to George, but to Paige, too. Fuck, the day was going well, and Clay felt like he completely ruined it._ _

__How to change the subject quickly..._ _

__"George, pick a song" Clay stated, darting his eyes back to George. The brunette raised his dark eyebrows._ _

__"It's your turn, I picked one last time" Clay elaborated, a smile perking up on his lips as he spoke. It was already starting to heat up at the cottage, the boys were in the direct sunlight, warming up from the surprisingly cold night._ _

__A song? As much as George loved music, whenever someone would ask him such a question, his mind would always go blank. He thought of a million songs in a blind panic._ _

__Then he remembered the song blasting from his cars speakers the day he arrived at Clays cottage. He remembered every single detail about that moment. The lyrics(that he hated he could relate to), the beat, the way he had to turn the volume to max because of the wind blaring through his windows. The way it made him think about Clay, and how excited he was to see his best friend in person for the first time in years, and to just finally relax and be okay. The lyrics were repeating in his head once more. The lyrics he smiled to._ _

__I love it when you call my name._ _

__And the lyrics that pained him._ _

__You tell me you love her, I give you a grin._ _

__George smiled to himself and blinked a few times until he pulled his thoughts together._ _

__"Have you heard of Strawberry Blonde?"_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA DRAMATIC IRONY-
> 
> sorry this chapter was kinda short, but the next ones will for sure be longer, lots of stuff to unpack, im vEry excited for the next ones hehe
> 
> thank you for the lovely support guys, it means heaps ! see yall next time, love u guys :]


	14. Chapter 14

"Strawberry blonde?" Clays eyes lit up and a smile landed on his lips.

"I love that song" He continued, earning an oddly uncomfortable grin from the brunette.

George let out a sigh of relief. The energy in the air was low and calm. George didn't want another good moment with his best friend ruined.

Maybe Clay thought of George when he listened to that song, just as much as he did. Maybe he listened closely to the lyrics and imagined dancing with the brunette, again, like George did.

No, definitely not. He was just overthinking now.

George blinked at the unexpected slow and peaceful strum that came from Clays guitar. Strawberry Blonde was quite a fast song, but it certainly didn't fit the mood. George liked it better this way, though. Like a special little tune of their own for only George and Clay to sing to.

"I love everybody because I love you" Clay sang softly. His voice was like warm honey to Georges ears, and his cheeks raised unnoticeably. To George, the lyrics were bullshit, really. That was obvious.

When Clay was around, George hated everyone but him. Everyone else in the world wasn't important, they meant nothing. And Clay meant everything.

Clay continued to lightly strum the strings, the tune was soft and peaceful. His emerald eyes were practically closed, like he did this all day, every day. George could hear the smile through Clays warm words without even looking at him.

George let himself breathe as the soft words poured out of Clays mouth, filling the calm air.

"Look at you, strawberry blonde, fields rolling on, I love it when you call my name." Clay continued to sing to George, and the brunette couldn't help but smile. Those words made him think of the day he came to Clays cottage, it being one of the best days of his life. He could so vividly remember Clays excited and loud voice, the way they ran into each others arms, and the wave of pure happiness that took over George. The happiness that he hadn't felt in what felt like forever. He was lost in the moment, the kind of lost thats exactly like being found. He found his happiness. George practically became deaf to everything in the world around him, all he wanted to hear was Clay singing softly into his ears. He was Georges favourite song.

Clay blinked up at George, who had his eyes darted out to the sunrise. His hair was shining like gold, and he was relaxed. Clay almost forgot what he was doing, and he closed his mouth, still continuing to strum the strings of his guitar. There was no forced smile, just, genuine peace. God, George wasn't even doing anything, but he still managed to look so perfect to Clay. The blonde scoffed to himself.

George was pulled back into reality, and turned his gaze to Clay. Their eyes locked, but neither of them looked away. The smile was still on Clays face, and it wasn't going away anytime soon.

"What are you looking at?" George purred, raising an eyebrow and giving Clay a smile.

"Some kid, he's a bit of a loser" Clay smirked in response. George acted offended and scoffed. But he played along.

"Not as much of a loser as the guy next to him"

"Oh, come on now, that guy is awesome, he plays the guitar" Clay squeaked.

George rolled his eyes and put on a voice "Awooga!"

"You're so stupid" Clay wheezed, trying his best to not screw up his playing.

"Shut up and keep singing" George replied, trying to sound serious, but inevitably failing.

"Oh, you're adorable" Clay whispered. A shock was sent through his body after he came to the realisation of what he just said. Out loud. Fuck, did George hear him?

Georges ears perked up at Clays statement, not that he could hear it well. He heard something, and it certainly wasn't just him calling him stupid this time. But he didn't keep his hopes up. He stayed silent.

The boys eyes were still on each other. George was always amazed by how Clays eyes shone in the light. They looked perfect. George never wanted him to blink, all he wanted was to be lost in the emerald world.

"I love it when you look my way" Clay continued to softly sing to the song. The words were becoming a little too real now. It was like he wasn't even thinking of the lyrics, it was just the thoughts in his head pouring out.

George felt his face heat up. Why did he hate this feeling so much, but at the same time he just couldn't get enough of it? He wanted more. He wanted Clay to never look away, he wanted to be near him, he wanted... Him. Always him. His brain felt like mush, he hated that the moment was probably going to be ruined.

Jesus, why was Clay still staring. Look away, no, keep looking! Georges brain felt like it was battling with itself. Clay. Paige. Fucking Paige? Come on.

He obviously didn't blame Paige at this point. Not only was Clay perfect, so was she. And how could George compare to her? He was just some kid from the city who hated himself, nothing new or exciting. Clay had a life. He had shit to do, he had so much purpose and potential. And so did Paige. Fuck this.

George darted his eyes away and narrowed his eyebrows. The smile dropped from both their faces. Clay didn't know whether to keep singing or not. What the hell just happened, anyway?

George mentally scoffed at himself. Don't ruin the moment, come on.

The song came to a close, and Clay stopped playing for a few seconds and finally took his fingers off the strings. His fingertips were red and sore, and he winced slightly at the sight. 

"The shit part about playing the guitar" He said. George peered over. Clay showed him his hand, and George automatically took it without another thought. Physically, he ignored what he just did, but his brain wouldn't stop running around.

_You always do this, fucking stop! ___

__"Dude, stop playing then, I won't mind" George replied genuinely._ _

__"No" Clay cried in response like a child. "It makes you happy"_ _

__George smiled like an idiot. "You're gonna fuck up your fingers"_ _

__Clay leaned in to look at George, who's smile was torn off his face. He prayed he wasn't going red._ _

__"Anything for Gogy" Clay purred, trying to contain laughter. It was just a fun joke..._ _

__"I'm flattered" George said sarcastically._ _

__George looked back down at Clays hand. It was so much bigger than his. He ran his fingers over Clays red fingertips and frowned. Neither of them moved away, neither of them even noticed how close they were to each other._ _

__"Let me play, coach" Clay whined, breaking the silence._ _

__"Your fingers will die, Clay" George belted, making Clay smirk a little._ _

__Clay bowed his head slightly and stared up at George, giving him puppy dog eyes. George smiled and rolled his eyes, shoving Clays hand away in defeat. Clay tapped his feat in victory and excitement._ _

__"You're lucky you're cute"_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK IM SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING FOR SO LONG I FEEL SO BAD HAHA-
> 
> very sorry about that !! its been a very chaotic and exhausting [past few weeks and a lot of shit family and personal stuff has happened so i didnt really get the time to write and i didnt want it to be some crappy 10 minute made up thing so yeah
> 
> uh- anyway, hope you enjoyed ! not much happened, but i promise the next few chapters are gonna be sO GOOD im excited :]
> 
> co-posted on wattpad


	15. Chapter 15

Clay exhaled forcefully through a smile at Georges remark, bowing his head in attempt to hide his embarrassed expression. How was he supposed to keep playing now?

"Why don't you play, George?" Clay asked. George looked up at the blonde, eyebrows raised.

"Bold of you to assume that I've ever even been in contact with a guitar before" He scoffed in response.

"...Can I show you?"

George bit his lip and glanced down at the guitar for a second. He looked back up at Clay, who's eyes were bright and wide, such an eager look on his face. George scoffed, having to look away, he would just melt if he didn't. Oh, how could he say no, anyway. He put his hand out, and Clay bounced his legs in excitement, jiggling over beside George. The brunette rolled his eyes, but he knew he couldn't resist him, no point in trying anyway.

"I think Strawberry Blonde suits you" Clay smiled, handing the guitar over to George.

"It's a good song, I didn't know it was your taste though" He continued. George shrugged, placing the guitar in his lap.

"It just reminds me of someone, I guess" George replied. Clay nodded, not saying anything else.

"Isn't strawberry blonde hair just red hair?" Clay thought out loud, frowning at the question in wonder.

"I mean, sort of" George said.

"Dirty blonde is better" Clay scoffed, running his hand through his hair. Of course, his hair was just that. It was a lot lighter in the sun, but it was an ash, dirty blonde colour that shone nicely.

"Er, I don't think so"

"I'm offended"

"Stop talking"

"Fine, maybe I won't teach you anything then" Clay scoffed, looking offended, but the big grin on his face didn't help his case.

"Oh, boo hoo" George cried.

Clay stood up and slowly started to crawl down to the edge of the roof, trying his best to keep his balance.

"Where do you think you're going?" George yelled out to him through a giggle.

"Down. My butt hurts and you're annoying"

George frowned and snorted, watching his friend walk to the side.

"That means follow me, dummy" Clay yelled out once more. The blonde looked over to George and smirked at him, jumping off the side of the roof with ease. A shock was sent through Georges body. He quickly trotted over to the side of the roof, seeing Clay in one piece, waiting for George to follow him.

"You couldn't have just used the ladder?" George yelled out.

"Ladders are for pussies"

"God, you really are from Florida" George said to himself out loud.

"... Fine" Clay spoke. George watched him as he walked over to the ladder and threw it down. George stared at him with wide eyes. Clay smiled back at him like he hadn't done anything wrong.

"You are actually the worst" George called out.

"Oh come on, I'm amazing, throw the guitar down" The blonde yelled back at him.

George ignored Clays antics and carefully tossed his guitar down to him, bending his knees as he caught it because he was too afraid he would drop it. He slowly placed it down beside him and looked back up and an unhappy George.

"Yeah, well, I don't, you suck" George lied, and he watched as Clay laughed at his remark. He knew it wasn't true either.

"It's time to challenge yourself, George! You'll be fine!"

George stayed silent for a moment, looking down at the ground below him, narrowing his eyebrows.

"If I die, the blood is on your hands, blondie!"

Clay opened out his arms and gave George a bright grin. George didn't hesitate to roll his eyes.

George stabilised himself and shifted across the tilted tiles of the mossy roof. His fingertips attempted to grip the surface below him.

"Hurry up, oh my god!" Clay yells, shock coursing through Georges bones from the sudden noise.

George limps his legs over the side of the roof, careful not to learn too far forward and to maintain a safe balance. The trust he had in Clay right now was huge, heights always made him nervous, and jumping off heights certainly wasn't much better.

George shuffles towards the very edge of the roof and slips off, not very gracefully though. But, who could blame him? Jumping off a roof wasn't exactly a daily activity for him. Though, his aim was good, his feet planted inches away from Clay. His knees gave up and buckled the second his feet hit the grass. George fell forward helplessly, a yelp leaving his mouth. Clay grabbed onto Georges flailing hands and held them tight, their fingers interlocking. Georges hand felt so small in Clays, like he could feel Clay tense up after having to surprise catch him. George slowly started to relax his hand, still barely noticing both their hands, it wasn't really his top priority in that moment.

All the air in Georges lungs had rushed out at once and his eyes were wide and in shock. He turned his gaze up to Clay, he had almost forgotten how much taller the blonde was compared to him. Clays eyebrows were narrowed and his face was still, he was mostly just focusing on not dropping George.

Clay was leaning back a little, and George was just trying to regain his balance without collapsing forward. Clay couldn't help but smile, letting out a small giggle. George was pulled back to earth, and his brain had caught up to his body, only to fall into shock when he realised how close he was to Clay in that moment. He tried to smile back, but something he couldn't quite pinpoint was stopping him.

He dared not to glance over at their intertwined hands, but it wasn't like he could look away anyway. His fingers stayed still and relaxed in Clays hand. Why wasn't he letting go...?

"See? You did it" Clay purred through a soft laugh. George felt his stomach curl. A part of him wanted to let go and get out of that situation, but another part of him couldn't resist the feeling. He couldn't walk away now, no, he never wanted to.

George straightened his legs a little bit and grounded himself. He forgot that he had to actually talk for a moment.

"I hate you" George managed to say.

"You love me" Clay breathed. Those three words were so loud in Georges head.

"I know"

They fell silent for a moment, his tone was different. Clay would usually expect another witty and angry comment from George, but there wasn't a trace of that in his soft words. Georges words came out too quickly, perhaps.

But, strangely enough, neither of them cared. Neither of them overthought the words that were pouring out their mouths like honey. There was no one else around them to hear or interrupt, they were with each other and each other only. It felt like such a longed feeling for the both of them.

"Get your guitar and move your ass, Dream" George said softly, purposefully using Clays nickname, and getting the reaction he expected. A short laugh and an eye roll. Clay placed his foot under the neck of the guitar and lifted it high enough so he could grab the headstock. He didn't let go of George with his other hand, though, and George wasn't sure whether to question it or not.

"oh, _you're _bold. Come on" Clay exclaimed, and George laughed at the blondes words.__

__Clay started walking as if he needed to be somewhere of importance. He wasn't slow, and there was excitement within his movement. George was yanked forward, barely realising that they started walking._ _

__"Where are you taking me now- how big even is this place?" George managed to interrupt himself with another question that Clay failed to answer right away. But George could tell that he was smiling, even if he couldn't see his face._ _

__The boys paced up a small hill beside the fencing of the horse paddock, it was nicely shaded from the riding sun. Clay dropped his guitar carelessly onto the grass and swivelled around to face George, who reacted unexpectedly._ _

__"You talk a lot for an introvert, so this learning session will put you to the test" Clay scoffed. "You're lucky I like you, dumbass"_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey gamers
> 
> my bad for not posting, assignments and life is busy as fUck, i apologise for this chapter being sort of mostly filler, the next chapter will probably be slightly similar, but the ones after them are gonna be big hehe (im not sorry)
> 
> this has nearly 1800 reads holy heck thank u !!
> 
> co-posted on wattpad

**Author's Note:**

> hi !! if it isn't evident already, i haven't written a fanfic in 5 years, so sorry if it's a little rusty ! This was pretty long, but i don't think the other chapters will be this long, maybe some of them. anyways, hope you enjoyed, theres gonna be a bit more action next chapter :)


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